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18 Things Single People Don't Have Time For

Where's my wine though?

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1. Takeout order minimum prices.

The CW / Via

$20?? Just for ME??? That's it, I'm taking my business to somewhere that respects my loneliness.

2. Any and all dating shows.

ABC / Via

There's no way that this can be taken seriously.

3. Messages like this on Tinder:

The time it takes to read this atrocity could be used much more efficiently to find my future ~prince charming~.

The time it takes to read this atrocity could be used much more efficiently to find my future ~prince charming~.

4. Engagement announcements on Facebook.

Universal Pictures / Via

Seriously considering just quitting all social media.

5. The gazillion questions that you have to answer on OkCupid in order to get a half-decent match.

Warner Bros. / Via

6. Those Coke cans that are just a huge slap in the face.

OK, Coke, no need to rub it in.

OK, Coke, no need to rub it in.

7. Texts to potential suitors that aren't responded to within five minutes.

8. Running out of wine.

Bravo / Via

Aw hell no!

9. Sexts from people you don't want to have sex with.

Bravo / Via

It's always the ones you don't want that are blowing up your phone.

10. Your parents incessantly asking you if you've found someone.

At this point, they should know how the conversation's gonna go.

11. Friends complaining about their relationship "problems."

HBO / Via

Your boyfriend hogging the covers at night is not an issue, but a blessing.

12. Wedding invites.

Fox / Via

Can I bring a plus NONE?

13. Every single Olivia and Fitz romantic scene on Scandal.

ABC / Via

All that fiery passion and sexual tension on my TV screen? Nope, not on my watch! *Quickly changes channel*

14. Seeing a co-worker on Tinder.

Fox / Via

Trying to figure out if you should swipe right is entirely too time-consuming.

15. Ads for various dating sites on Google and Facebook.

ABC / Via

Chances are, I've tried them all.


I'd rather not unleash my inner hater right now, so I'll pass on looking at this. Forever.

17. Blind dates.

Netflix / Via

Whoever came up with this clearly didn't know what it was like to be single.

18. Third-wheeling with coupled friends.

The CW / Via

In what universe would anyone voluntarily subject themselves to such misery?

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