Hi, I'm Devina, and I've never watched a single episode of Stranger Things. I know, I know, it's practically criminal. With all the buzz around the most recent season coming out, I thought it was time I finally gave it a go (mainly because I'm now getting serious FOMO).
I should probably start by telling you what I already know about the show...which is close to nothing. I know it's about a group of kids, the recent season got Kate Bush to number one in the charts, and I'm pretty sure there's a scary thing called a demetor? Dementor? No, that's Harry Potter. I told you, I know close to nothing. Right, let's fix that ASAP.
THE PILOT EPISODE — here we go.
Set in 1983?? Ok, didn't expect that. So we're in a (pretty dingy-looking) lab, and this slow zoom into a door is creeping me out already — and we're approximately 0.2 seconds in.
OKAY, THAT MADE ME JUMP. What I can only assume is a terrified scientist just busted out of the door, and my soul has officially left my body. Right, I should mention I don't do well with jumpy things, so this will be fun.
I'm pretty sure scientist guy just got killed by this ominous thing that I assume was created in the lab. Ok, wait, why is this making me think of Frankenstein? I'm no expert on this show, but I'm fairly sure we won't be seeing scientist guy again.
Next up, we're seeing a group of kids playing in a house. Ok, this feels more settled. They're playing a game that's reminding me of that episode of Lizzie McGuire when Gordo got addicted to that Dungeons board game.
Aww, this really cute kid just offered — who I'm assuming is his friend's sister — some pizza, and she slammed the door in his face?! I'm way too much of an empath for this.
Ok, fast-forward a little, now the kids are riding their bikes home (at night??? definitely the '80s), and it's giving me serious The Goonies, The Lost Boys, Stand By Me vibes — anyone else? Plus, seeing them on their bikes like that is making me think of E.T.
Why, why, WHY is this kid cycling through a RESTRICTED area by himself at night? I mean, I know it's the '80s, but come on now. Also, I'm getting the feeling something's about to make me jump again.
OMG is that the demo...science lab thing? Yep, there it is, there's the thing that made me jump. Right on cue.
That dog is so cute.
Ok, so now this *thing* has followed the kid — Will — to his house and there's no one home?? You've got to be kidding me.
He's now left his house to make a run for the gun in the shed, and I don't know if this kid's brave or stupid (I haven't decided yet).
Wait, he's gone? The kid's just gone?? Okay, I've made my decision, he's stupid. Brave for sure, but definitely stupid.
Ok, new scene, new character, no idea who this guy is. But now I'm watching him take a shower.
Another new scene, we're seeing Will's mum (Winona Ryder?!) and brother low-key freak out about the fact they can't find Will. I'm officially too soft for this show because my head is currently in my hands.
Ok, now that kid's older sister — Nancy — who slammed the door in the cute kid's face, is talking about a boy called Steve. Ordinarily, I'd be interested, but I still don't like her.
Winona's now freaking out about Will going missing to the continuously aggy-looking sheriff, and he doesn't seem to be taking it very seriously. I swear it always starts off this way: The sheriff brushes off a concerned mother, the police are blind to the situation, they realise once it's too late, and everyone dies.
Okay back to the lab, and this looks tense. I'm not going to lie, I don't get a good vibe from these lab guys. They've arrived on some abandoned floor in the building, and something tells me I'm definitely about to jump again.
EW, WHAT IS THAT???
The lab guys are talking about some girl that's escaped, and we're now watching a girl steal some food from a restaurant and get caught. I think we can assume this is said girl.
Is the chef Toby from This Is Us?? Ok, I've decided I already love him.
Okay, we've now cut back to the boys at school, and the sheriff's getting information from them about Will's route home. He's told the boys not to go out searching for Will, but let's be honest, we all know there's no way that's happening.
We're now back to Toby and the escapee — Eleven — and I'm pretty sure she just stopped a fan with her mind?? This is like telekinesis on a whole new level. I'm not sure if we should be scared of her or not though...so I'll get back to you on that.
Back to the sheriff, who just found Will's bike!!! He's gone to tell Winona and take a look around the house, and now we're watching him walk into the shed. OMG is that thing still in there?? I want to scream at the screen.
False alarm, the sheriff is still with us. Alright, so now we're seeing everyone either talking about Will's disappearance or looking for him. There's a search party going on in the woods right now, but why are they doing this at night?
The kids are now talking on walkie talkies? Yep, definitely the '80s.
I'm waiting for this Steve and Nancy storyline to become relevant.
Back to Toby and Eleven, and the social services woman just shot Toby. As wild as this sounds, I don't think this woman is actually from social services.
OMG she's one of the lab guys!!! Run, Eleven, run!
It's giving E.T. again — we're watching the boys on their bikes looking for Will (as predicted, may I add).
OMG so Winona and Will's brother just got a phone call with heavy breathing coming from the other end??
Back to the kids on their bikes trying to find Will (which is not at all a recipe for disaster), and now they've just run into Eleven in the forest???
Okay I've got to admit, that was GOOD. It's not normally my kind of thing, but I'm so hooked!! Right, let's talk about my predictions before I go ahead and watch the latest episode (Season 4, Episode 9).
- So I've gone back and forth on whether I think Will's dead or not, but you know what, I think he's still alive. I reckon he might come back brainwashed or have some kind of telekinesis ability like Eleven.
- I'm also fairly certain the boys will take Eleven under their wing, and they'll end up forming some kind of group that'll take all of this into their own hands.
- I think they'll discuss theories, come up with strategies, and end up fighting these demo...things with the help of Will once he's back on the scene.
- I also think their parents will be those typical oblivious parents in movies that have no idea of the danger their kids put themselves in. But hey, it's the '80s.
- Ooh also, I think we'll be introduced to more characters like Eleven who have been experimented on in the lab (because if she's number 11, how many of them actually are there?).
- Then, the others that are like Eleven will each have different powers or whatever, and work with the group of kids to fight these things. Oh, and they'll have to be on the run from the lab guys. I don't like the lab guys.
- I'm also waiting for something to happen with Steve and Nancy. But I think it's too early to see how that one will pan out right now.
- Oh, also I think more people will go missing. Like maybe Steve. And Ethel from Riverdale.