Hi, I'm Devina, and I've never watched Better Call Saul. Before you cancel me, I have watched Breaking Bad – even though it was like eight years ago. So if my memory serves me well (let's not count on it), this should be a little less chaotic than when I watched the first and last episodes of Stranger Things with zero context.
Right so let's see what I remember about Saul. I recall him being a lawyer that's dodgy as hell, but absolutely hilarious. Okay, that's it.
THE PILOT EPISODE – here goes.
Okay so it starts with Saul (I'm guessing back in the day) working at Cinnabon and I'm suddenly really craving a cinnamon roll.
OH never mind, I *think* the Cinnabon scenes are in the present, not a flashback. Saul just watched a tape of his old lawyer adverts (is that what you call them?) and he looks pretty bummed so I'm going to guess things went south on the lawyer front. Hence, Cinnabon.
OMG WAIT. Did those kids just saw a man's head off??? A little bit of warning would've been great.
OMG it's the bald man!!! I forgot about him! So Saul's just driven somewhere (no clue where, I'll get back to you on that) and I think I'm watching him meet this guy – Mike – for the first time. If I remember correctly (let's not count on it), Mike becomes the guy that does Saul's dirty work, right?
So far, I'm getting the vibe Saul's a bit all over the place. Anyone else?
Okay, I was being polite, he's definitely a hot mess.
HE JUST HIT A MAN WITH HIS CAR??? By accident, sure, but my god the way that made me jump. In case you were wondering, my soul is yet to return to my body.
Oh, never mind. Turns out the guy that got hit by the car...tried to get hit by the car? I mean, this guy literally hurled himself across the windshield.
I kind of feel for Saul, it's fair to say he's struggling. No wonder he had to represent those kids who beheaded a guy.
Oh he just ripped up a $26,000 cheque he just got in the mail. Maybe he's not struggling as much as I thought.
Never mind, he ripped it up because he wants more.
He's now kicking a bin.
...Still kicking the bin.
Wait, I just realised his name is James??? How did it take me 29 minutes into the episode to register that.
Saul (or should I say James??) is now talking to this guy – Chuck – who he's representing but I think is also good friends with. Or related to?? I haven't got that far yet, but what I *do* know, is they're arguing about the fact Saul's struggling financially. Meanwhile, Chuck's saying it's not about the money and blah blah. We've all heard that one before.
The guy that got hit by the car – or should I say, the guy that hurled himself in front of it – is back.
Update, Saul's getting the hurling guy and his brother to do the same hurling scam to one of his ex-potential clients (Betsy). Ex-potential, because they didn't choose him. I wonder why.
Why do I feel like this is about to go horribly wrong??
A HIT AND RUN??? She didn't stop??? Okay, this plan has officially gone horribly wrong. Called it. Just saying.
The woman just got out of the car, and I'm fairly sure that's not Betsy.
Saul's just turned up at the house where fake Betsy and the hurling brothers are, but a guy from inside the house (who I'm pretty sure I recognise from Breaking Bad???) just pulled a gun on Saul??!! And that's the end of the episode?? Talk about a dramatic ending.
- So first up, James is going to change his name to Saul. Pretty sure of that one.
- I reckon he'll use his gift of the gab to get out of this situation he's in right now (the gunpoint situation, to clarify).
- But I think it'll involve him agreeing to some dodgy stuff (naturally), and he'll just get caught up in a downward spiral of morally questionable actions.
- We'll see Saul start his own company (hence Better Call Saul).
- And before we know it we'll see him branded as the dodgy lawyer that represents bad guys.
- Oh, and he'll obviously take Mike – the bald guy – under his wing.
- And I think ultimately something will go horribly wrong where he has to change his whole identity for his own safety, which will end with him working in Cinnabon and trying to hide from the really really bad guys.
How did I do, was I close??
AND NOW THE FINALE!
Right so Saul is...in a desert.
And he's with the bald man!!! Mike!
Okay, so they're talking about splitting seven million dollars?? Maybe he was right to rip up that $26,000 cheque.
I mean it's pretty clear that money's not theirs, but that's not the point.
Okay so we're back (or forwards??) to the Cinnabon timeline, and I have no idea what Saul's done, but he's really pissed off some old lady.
Even a helicopter's after him??? This went left real quick.
So let me get this straight, in the pilot episode he was (pretty violently) kicking a bin, and now he's (voluntarily) jumping into one.
Update: no longer in the bin.
Now he's in the police station, so evidently that whole bin thing didn't work out so well.
And he's calling himself Gene?? As if James/Jimmy/Saul wasn't confusing enough.
OMG I think I just saw that woman from Breaking Bad!!! That really annoying woman, Hank's wife??
Life plus 190 years?! Yeah, James/Jimmy/Saul/Gene must've really pissed that old lady off.
Saul just fed Hank's wife and the officers some long sob story as to why he was involved with Walt, and this guy is an actual genius.
Don't get me wrong – it's absolutely terrifying, but damn he's good.
Saul's really banging on about this chocolate chip ice cream, and now I really want chocolate chip ice cream.
I may be wrong, but I think Saul's just cut a deal to do seven and a half years. So he went from life plus 190 years to that?! Not to be dramatic but, this guy is my hero.
For legal reasons, that was a joke.