1. This puppy training success story:
2. This toasty burn:
"Since the sun ain’t roasting you, something’s got to."
3. This call to action:
"Wait, why are the camels swimming? OMG help them!"
4. This plea to not be kept in further suspense:
"Man, I need some closure about these. Did he jerk off to his porn star cousin? Did she give away her baby to her mother? How did the throat slit great-grandma survive?"
5. This one that really needs no context to appreciate:
6. This very good question:
"Why did she leave them the cake? Take that shit and never look back!"
7. This accurate representation of most parent-child interactions:
"*bursts into flames*
Mom: 'cause you always on that damn phone."
8. This new life motto:
"Leaving dead snake skin on the fridge is honestly a power move."
9. This awkward horror story:
"I saw my mom's legs in the stall next to me, and reached under and grabbed her leg to 'scare' her. Then I hear a stranger's voice say OH! I got out of there so fast."
10. This lightly seasoned pun:
11. This hilarious childhood memory:
"My parents cut my hair with a Flowbee. Yes, the vacuum haircutting machine. We call this my 'Rod Stewart year.'"
12. This pure truth bomb:
"All I'm going to say is, if they want a truly accurate Little Mermaid, then Ariel doesn't get the prince, dies, and becomes sea foam."
13. And this other very good response to that casting controversy:
"This feels like a missed opportunity to cast an actual mermaid."
14. This comment asking all the right questions:
"I want to know what Onion Girl did to become Onion Girl."
15. This professional observation:
16. This confession:
"I don't know. I'm scared to order water now."
17. This other very relatable confession:
"Is 15 wearing a different bra every day? I literally wear the same one till it shanks me in the tit!"
18. This prank idea, if you're here for the long game:
"In red paint, write 'I will kill again' on a wall, then paper over it. It'll scare the crap out of someone at some point."
19. This comment callout:
"Can’t believe how many people in this comment section have a superiority complex just because they floss."