"We're 34 minutes in and everyone's hair is holding up well."
Now is the time to judge a book by its cover.
Stop sending dick pics 2k18.
All you need are roughly five to nine good habits.
Texts from a significant other <<<< photos of Waluigi.
They're all beautiful, and yet slightly terrifying.
From pizza to potholes in 30 minutes or less.
"Umm my eyes are up here," — everyone who wears these pants.
"If a piece stops someone in their tracks and causes them to think or smile for a moment, I'm happy enough with that."
Earthworms? Good! Brown slugs? Bad!
You can't live off booze and Taco Bell alone.
Don't knock the mulled wine hair trend 'til you try it.
The park will have trained staff members, quiet rooms, and low-sensory parade-viewing areas.
Stress? Bad. Bread making? Delightful.
Not to be dramatic, but I'd give up sex for free candles for life.
Not to be dramatic, but tattooed brides are basically perfect.
This is how you do inclusive clothing.
Feel like royalty for half the cost.
Stop dreaming about your favorite hair color, and go dye it already.
This is about the beverage, not the drama.