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Shirtless Super Mario Will Ruin Your Childhood And Haunt Your Dreams

You can't unsee this.

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Something pretty shocking went down at the latest Nintendo Direct Presentation this week. Nintendo officially released an image of Mario... and he's shirtless... and he has nipples.

Needless to say, some people aren't thrilled at seeing their childhood plumber living his best life on the beach and showing mad nipples.

NOOOOO MARIO ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE SHIRTLESS

I mean, seeing Mario's nipples has upset the entire Super Mario kingdom. Who gets to decide which characters have nipples and which don't?

if mario has nipples then why doesn't yoshi - please nintendo this only raises difficult questions

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And of course, someone had to throw in his mustache.

Woah! Look what happens if you zoom right in on Mario's nipples

Move the fuck over dad bod as we enter the era of plumber bod.

Get you a guy who can do both. Am I right people?

  1. Basically what I'm asking is, would you get down and dirty with shirtless Mario?

    No! Literally what the hell is wrong with you?
    Hell yeah! I'd let him save me from Bowser's castle any day.
    I need to see a shirtless Luigi before making any rash decisions.

Shirtless Super Mario Will Ruin Your Childhood And Haunt Your Dreams

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Basically what I'm asking is, would you get down and dirty with shirtless Mario?
  1.  
    vote votes
    No! Literally what the hell is wrong with you?
  2.  
    vote votes
    Hell yeah! I'd let him save me from Bowser's castle any day.
  3.  
    vote votes
    I need to see a shirtless Luigi before making any rash decisions.

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