back to top

Counterpoint: Despite What Science Says, Cats Are Actually Smarter Than Dogs

I have the receipts to prove it.

Posted on

Since the dawn of time a war has been waged between two unlikely adversaries: cats and dogs.

101cats / Getty Images

In the newest battle between the two furry foes, researchers at Vanderbilt found that dogs have more than twice the number of cortical neurons than cats which according to Suzana Herculano-Houzel who led the study, means that dogs have a richer internal mental state.

giphy.com

^ Does that look like someone with a rich internal mental state to you?

That sounds like an open and shut case that puts dogs above cats, but NOT SO FAST. Herculano-Houzel admitted that she is "100% a dog person." Seems suspicious, right?

FX

So today, I'm here to put an end to this war and prove once and for all that cats are in fact the smarter species.

Vvvita / Getty Images

Let's start with Exhibit A: A video of a cat opening a door. Do you think my roommate's wiener dog is smart enough to hop up on a cabinet and open a door? No, he's not. He stays behind the locked door and barks, but this cat saw an opportunity for freedom and took it.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

Exhibit B: This cat was the mayor of a town in Alaska for 20 years. You would never see that kind of political career in a dog. They get too distracted and don't even get me started on what scandals might pop up with a dog mayor. Mayor Stubbs was described as "honest" and "the best mayor of all time."

http://@kelly.marsh86 / Via instagram.com

Exhibit C: They can use the bathroom like humans. Let me guess, your dog wakes you up at 6 A.M. for its morning walk and bathroom time. Sad! Cats don't need someone to take them out to pee. They pee any damn time they want in an actual toilet the way God intended.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

Not convinced? Fine! Then why don't you pack up your things and head over to this DOG-DEFENDING ARTICLE that says dogs are superior to cats. I don't need you anyway.

But before you go let me ask you a quick question.

  1. Do you believe that CATS are smarter than dogs?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Yes, this is God's honest truth.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    No, that is blasphemy. Dogs will forever be smarter than cats.
Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
Do you believe that CATS are smarter than dogs?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes, this is God's honest truth.
  2.  
    vote votes
    No, that is blasphemy. Dogs will forever be smarter than cats.
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.