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25 Times Twitter And Tumblr Proved They Were Filled With Sexperts

"Do people wear glasses during sex or is it just like you’re blind and everything’s a surprise?"

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1.

@trannysaurus--rex / Via trannysaurus--rex.tumblr.com

2.

*in the middle of sex "Go deeper" Okay *pulls out* *sits in a chair and sips coffee* *opens poetry book* Two roads diverged in a wood and I-

3.

@thetransatlanticlife / Via thetransatlanticlife.tumblr.com

4.

ME: Who's my little sex kitten? HER: *slowly pushes me off bed* ME: [from floor] That's right baby.

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5.

@sunbak-ery / Via sunbak-ery.tumblr.com

6.

[during sex] Him: it'd be nice if you were a little more enthusiastic Me: *pulls out giant foam finger*

7.

@freshprinceofbeleriand / Via freshprinceofbeleriand.tumblr.com

8.

hate when people say "if u think this is better than sex, u haven't had good sex!", like no, maybe you've just never had good lasagna, Carol

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9.

@priceofliberty / Via priceofliberty.tumblr.com

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@zackisontumblr / Via zackisontumblr.tumblr.com

12.

yall dont think i read replies to my tweets huh? in my mentions like "choke me daddy". is that funny to you beth

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13.

My favorite sex position? Boy there's so many to choose from. Ha Ha. *starts sweating* I'd have to pick, um, reverse...shortstop? I gotta go

14.

After I orgasm, I yell "Aaaaand scene." Then I push him off me, throw him his clothes while holding the door open& say "Ummm. We'll call u."

15.

yeah i love BDSM, Big Dogs and Small Mdogs

16.

There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about that Backstreet Boy asking his pals, "am I sexual?" & they're like, "yeah."

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17.

@letshearitforthisclown / Via letshearitforthisclown.tumblr.com

18.

thebootydiaries / Via thebootydiaries.com

19.

I don't think you should fake orgasm. But if you do, a pretty convincing face is "scandalized by the price of a $17 wedge of cheese."

20.

@justcallme-molly / Via justcallme-molly.tumblr.com
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21.

ME: I'll put a sexy movie on DATE: Good idea *presses play* D: Shrek? M: omg embarrassing D: Haha M: [fumbling with DVD] Meant to be Shrek 2

22.

@bitchycode / Via bitchycode.tumblr.com

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*puts "Baby on Board" sticker on car so people will think I've had the sex*

24.

when he nuts under 30 seconds saying it's stress but you know it's your samsung note 7 pussy.