1. There are so many acronyms to learn.
WOD (Workout Of The Day); AMRAP (As Many Reps As Possible); HSPU (Hand Stand Push Up); KTE (Knees to Elbows); OHS (Overhead Squat); RX (as prescribed); DU (Double Unders); ATG (Ass To Ground) - seriously, it's a whole new language.
2. Certain workouts get their own names too, such as FRAN.
There are also WODs called Murph, Grace and Isabel.
3. Don't arrive for your session just as the previous one is finishing.
The sight of all those flushed, moaning, writhing bodies trying to recover from a brutal workout will just scare the bejaysus out of you.
4. You gain a vital appreciation for the importance of warming up and down before/after workouts.
Because if you don't, man, will you be in agony for days afterwards.
5. Your hands will be, quite literally, ripped open.
This happens mostly when trying to master pull-ups and "toe-to-bar" movements.
6. You never knew such a little ball could cause you so much pain.
8. You'll hear the instruction "Elbows up!" in your sleep.
9. The same goes for the order, "Open those hips!"
10. Trying to master the Clean & Jerk movement will take many, many frustrated sessions.
11. In general, you really, really need to be patient while you're learning the elements.
12. "The Snatch" is not what you may think it is, btw.
It's actually this move.
And it's quite tricky to get right.
13. "Double Unders" will change your skipping habits forever.
This is where you have to get two rope skips with one jump. Go on, give it a try. Hard, huh?
14. "Scaling" will save you a lot of blood, sweat and tears. Mainly blood.
This means you add weight incrementally as you get stronger, primarily so you don't do yourself a major injury on day one.
15. There will be many hotties in your class, but you can't let them distract you.
16. Just remember, it's virtually impossible for any mortal to look cool or sexy when performing any move.
17. You will grow to love handstands.
18. Indeed, you'll find yourself growing extremely competitive.
20. You can initially resist every urge to brag about your WOD results on social media, but you will end up doing it eventually.
21. On that note, you will struggle to walk after doing the very many squats.
So, so many squats.
22. And you will definitely feel like vomiting after some workouts.
That's how you know it's working. Erm, I guess.