Skip To Content

    15 Things To Remember While Dealing With A Friendship Breakup

    Does a platonic version of “Somebody That I Used To Know” exist somewhere? Asking for a friend.

    1. Sometimes, it's okay to embrace the gender-neutral urge to cry all the time.

    "I want to cry. All the time" #Fleabag understands 90% of us. #PhoebeWallerBridge

    Twitter: @MultiGayShipper / Via Twitter: @MultiGayShipper

    In Bluets, Maggie Nelson writes, “We sometimes weep in front of a mirror not to inflame self-pity, but because we want to feel witnessed in our despair.” So, stand in front of a mirror, put some eye makeup on for maximum cinematic effect (this step is optional, of course), and ugly-cry till you don’t. Every rite of passage includes tears and do we dare disturb the universe?

    2. Do not, I repeat, do not go back to your toxic friend.

    3. Even when you’re filled with rage, you can still have room for ice cream.

    @studiosoriginals on GIPHY / Via

    Look at the ice cream tubs. Look how they are silently singing “gobble me, swallow me”, for you. There is a reason why American sitcoms have certified wolfing down ice cream as the official post-breakup ritual. And like other aspects of the American dream, ice cream isn’t a myth!

    4. There's nothing wrong with being the first one to apologise.

    5. Music — Worthwhile distractions for monochromatic days.

    @bluesbear on GIPHY / Via

    When Emily Dickinson said, “A Day! Help! Help! Another Day!”, did it hit hard? While music might not yassify your sadness into something spicier, it can definitely be a palliative till you find the cure. Songs are like tarot card predictions. You can always see yourself getting represented.  

    6. Bad-mouthing your ex-bestie can’t and shouldn't be your default state of being.

    @snl on GIPHY / Via

    Friendship breakups feel like the apocalypse in the first person and rightfully so. Therefore, bad-mouthing them when they have not acted in your best interests is instinctual. However, it’s like the witch’s gingerbread and cake house from Hansel And Gretel — tempting but sinister. It won’t force coherence on discordant narratives going on in your head about what went wrong. Nor will it lend dignity to your suffering. When you’ve blocked them everywhere, they don’t deserve to live rent-free in your head either.

    7. Write it down because, “There is a place the loss must go”.

    @JulieSmithSchneider on GIPHY / Via

    You can’t abracadabra your heartbreak out of memory overnight. But every time you empty the contents of your mind on paper, you’re inching closer towards poofing them away. Whether you want to jot down a heartfelt apology letter for your ex-bestie or journal away the ebb and flow of your current emotional landscape, writing works wonders. In the age of instant messaging apps, stand out by being a handwritten note.

    8. It's time to relish in the small joys of life. There’s a whole day outside your door, waiting to be explored.

    9. Mourning is okay. Mourning is natural. Did you know that the words "deadline" and "infeasible" are synonyms?

    @doctorwho on GIPHY / Via

    You’re a real person. Not a bunch of deadlines glued together. Your grief isn’t a tabloid headline that will inevitably be forgotten tomorrow. It’s more like a cave painting that often outlasts time. Mourn till your obsession for your latest favourite song lasts. Carry the big sad to your grave if you like. “We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it.”

    10. Indulge in some retail therapy because, hey, you're supposed to love yourself first!

    @TheSwoon on GIPHY / Via

    Friendship with tears over. Post skincare glow is your new best friend now. Ariana Grande approves of retail therapy as an acceptable addiction. This is your cue to buy yourself all your favourite things, be it sheet masks or a home pedicure-manicure kit. Why depend on others to do all the loving when you can shower yourself with self-love all day, every day?

    11. Pets before mates.

    12. Books and you — The only love story where multiple happily-ever-afters are guaranteed.

    You think your pain and heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. Books taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive. ~ James Baldwin

    Twitter: @MythicPicnic / Via Twitter: @MythicPicnic

    Are you bored in the house and in the house bored, yet refraining from logging into Netflix because your ex-bestie’s name beside yours is a painful reminder of all the movie nights you have had together? Time to pick up a BILF (Book I’d Like To Finish) from your overwhelming pile of TBR.

    13. The best thing you can do is to embrace your authentic self.

    14. Give it time.

    15. And finally, there are always new friendships waiting for you!

    think of all the people you haven’t met yet that you’re going to love and that are going to love you back

    Twitter: @wnrstweets / Via Twitter: @wnrstweets

    There will be baristas who’ll remember your order every morning (ah, the sweet, sweet smell of being served hot coffee). And puppies who will choose your fingers to bite on in a room full of people (you’ve to assume those are out of affection). And strangers who’ll share their umbrellas with you (never to be seen again after that one particular rainy afternoon). And friends, who will save their choice memes for you and only you (but not the last slice of pizza). You’re yet to meet them and meet them, you shall!