14 Things That Happened During Every 90s Desi Kid's Birthday Party

Remember "return gifts"?

1. Remember the piñatas stuffed with candy and stationery?

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Our first lesson on “survival of the fittest” was imparted at the childhood birthday parties of our friends, every time the piñata was popped. Through this ritual, we learned how to experience the entire spectrum of human emotions within five minutes — anticipation, a momentary suspension of empathy, determination, anxiety, and joy / sadness (depending on how many treats our competitors managed to collect).  

2. And eagerly waiting for "cold drinks" to be served?

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Bring back the times when Coke meant a soft drink and ~just~ a soft drink. No other drink in the world could ever come close to the holy trinity of a 90s birthday party: Coca-Cola, Fanta, and Sprite. "Cold drinks", served in transparent plastic glasses, was the elixir after a particularly excruciating round of Antakshari. Needless to mention here, the hosts were as generous about refills as Taco Bell.

3. And playing musical chairs?

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The corporate meeting urge to go around in circles originated at the birthday party of a 90s kid. While playing musical chairs, we collectively became adept at strategically kicking, pushing, and shoving our competitors. Did it make foes out of friends? Mostly, yes! Did that deter us from competing for the last chair as if we were part of the Game Of Thrones universe fighting for the Iron Throne? Absolutely, not! After all, everything is fair in love, war, and musical chairs.   

4. Remember eating out of paper plates?

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Regardless of their rickety frames, paper plates did the job of holding chips, cake, snacks, and sweets just fine. If a shaky paper plate can perform so well, maybe there is still hope for us thriving in the age of climate crisis and a doomed economy?

5. Eating samosas?

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Whoever came up with the pickup line, “had you been a triangle, you would be acute one”, was definitely thinking of a samosa. Not sure about love at first sight, but love at first bite happened to me when I tried a samosa for the first time. Stuffed with the goodness of potato and served with chutney/ketchup, if only we could feed each other samosas every day, the way we did at birthday parties, we would be so much closer to achieving world peace.  

6. And chips!

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Usually, chips were sneakily rationed during lunch breaks, bought with borrowed money, because our parents’ warnings about their many health hazards made them seem like the forbidden fruit. However, birthdays were the only days of the year when we were allowed to binge our weight in chips and boy, oh boy, how we delighted in our temporal stroke of good luck.  

7. There was no greater joy than relishing a homemade menu.

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Homemade combos like luchi-mangsho (deep-fried flatbread-meat) and fried rice-chilli chicken, served during our childhood birthday dinners, stay undefeated and this topic is not open for debate. Honestly, why did the sirens spend so much time singing when they could have just lured sailors with the promise of the birthday platter of a 90s baby!

8. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about the traditional Black Forest Cake.

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On most days, our bodies were temples. But at birthday parties, they became flesh vessels stuffed with Black Forest Cake. Come hell or high water, the flavour of the cake always remained the same for years to come. And looking back, I now realise that the lack of multiple options was peaceful and much preferable.  

9. The excitement of getting "return gifts" was honestly, unparalleled.

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Our birthday parties were the gifts that kept on giving and I mean it quite literally. Whether it was the latest Barbie dupe or a pencil box set, "return gifts" were much coveted and dearly cherished. Besides being a good exercise in practicing egalitarianism and repairing bridges after burning them (following a game of dumb charades), this tiny tradition marked how we were as capable of giving as we were of receiving.  

10. Do you remember the party horns?

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We made our friends microdose the apocalypse by blowing party horns in their ears when they weren’t expecting it. This prank was silly to the point of being hilarious and I am still unsure as to why (harmlessly) annoying someone brought so much joy. But maybe I should stop looking for a reason and embrace what Mary Oliver said, “If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it.”

11. And the birthday crown?

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Each of us felt like a niche internet micro-celebrity wearing one of these! Wearing a brand new outfit and getting a glittering birthday crown placed on our heads felt no less than a magnificent coronation. No sadness could touch us while we had our birthday crowns on.   

12. And the good-old analog camera?

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Happiness is the anticipation of happiness and nothing proved this fact better than the wait for our birthday photographs to get developed at the photo studio. Living at an age when constant connectivity is expected to be our default setting, I would love to teleport back to our childhood birthday parties — not a phone in sight, just a bunch of kids flashing their gap-toothed grins as their parents snap photos.

13. Remember playing hide-and-seek?

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While seeking the "self" is fulfilling, hide-and-seek taught us that seeking the "other" is equally fun and important. We need a community to survive. Imagine hiding under your bed and then accidentally falling asleep. What would have happened had your friend not come looking for you? Would you have really wanted to miss out on cake because you were so good at hiding that no one could find you?

14. And the quintessential gift opening ceremony?

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And….“when the hurlyburly’s done...”, we would sit with the remains of the day. The gifts were modest and wrapped, what today’s Pinterest standards for aesthetics would label, “unimaginatively”. But those were simpler times and for children, happiness, for the most part, was still untouched by capitalism and social media fanaticism. Looking back, I understand the freedom of it all.