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It's Plätzchen, bitch.
Damn, it doesn't get more traditional than Lebkuchen from Nuremberg. They are full of dried fruit and warming spices to get you into that festive mood. Get the recipe here.
Literally called cinnamon stars, these small fuckers pack a punch of the best spice ever. They are not only full of warming cinnamon but also hazelnutty goodness. Get the recipe here.
A perfect accord of crunchy chocolate, fluffy dough, sweet jam and creamy marzipan – holy fuck, do I need to say more? Get the recipe here.
I still wonder why exactly Germans make everything out of chocolate but hey, I love any chance to aggressively bite off the head of a man.
Marzipan shaped into small balls and rolled in cocoa powder to look like tiny potatoes because WHY THE HELL NOT. Germans either love or hate them. Get the recipe here.
Crispy, sweet, buttery – perfect Vanillekipferl like these are bougee af as they tend to break as easily as your first relationship. Get the recipe here.
They come in many different shapes and sizes but share a crunchy bite and a buttery dough that will put any ol' American cookie to shame. They also come as so-called "Gewürzspekulatius" full of spices such as cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg and so on. Get the recipe here.
Makronen are basically small clouds of coconutty goodness that should float into your dirty mouth-hole this instant. They can also be made with hazelnuts for all those insane people that don't like coconut... Get the recipe here.
"Spitzbuben" is a very old German word that actually means crooks. However, there is really nothing criminal about them except how tasty they are. (Sorry.) Get the recipe here.
Made with brown butter and sea salt these shortbread cookies are the hidden champions of Christmas cookies and a granny's favorite. Hell, you better get your Heidesand on this holiday season! Get the recipe here.
This hybrid between bread and cake is stuffed with boozy dried fruit and gets slathered with melted butter and powdered sugar to make it long-lasting. What's not to love about that. Get the recipe here.
For fuck's sake, why is every German Christmas cookie recipe with marzipan? Sorry, to anyone that is allergic to nuts. Get the recipe here.
Germans love all kinds of Lebkuchen, like these hearts that are super soft on the inside and covered in milk chocolate. They make for a perfect breakfast for people that don't give a fuck about the nutritional value of their food.
These gorgeous cookies are made with traditional wooden molds that vary from family to family and are definitely prettier than any selfie I ever took. Get the recipe here.
Hollow out an apple and stuff it with butter, sugar, and marzipan before putting it in the oven or on top of a fireplace to get this incredibly lush dessert. Perfect to warm your ice-cold heart. Get the recipe here.
Okay, to be fair these are just tiny little bundles of chocolate but they are still essential during Christmas time in Germany. If your grandma doesn't get you those, you're definitely not her favorite grandchild.
They are cheap and sweet – and sometimes that's all holiday sweets need to be, really.
This "tree cake" with its beautiful layers is the epitome of moistness. Yes, I said moist. Get over yourself. Get the recipe here.
Yet another Christmas cookie that is made with marzipan AND almonds. Boy, do Germans love marzipan. Get the recipe here.
The literal translation of these little babies is "burned almonds" but don't worry they are just beautifully caramelized. They are spiced with cinnamon and covered in a thiccccck sugar coating and are just the perfect Christmasy snack. Get the recipe here.