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These Are Trap Questions. Do Not Answer Them.

“So, do you notice anything different about me today?”

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Sometimes, the only safe answer is nothing at all.

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If you don't know right away if something is different about your girlfriend, DO NOT just make a random guess.

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You will be wrong and it will be bad.

And if your girlfriend is in a fight with her mom? BE VERY CAREFUL.

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You better back up your girlfriend, but don't back her up TOO much.

When your girlfriend needs a little reassurance? WATCH YOUR WORDS.

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"I love everything about you" is safe. So is "What? Sorry, got distracted by your blinding beauty." And also "Did you know that you're the smartest person I know?"

You better like her friends.

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She DOES NOT want to hear about how you think Theresa's causing her own problems with her attitude at work. It is NOT HER FAULT, OK?

And when it comes to talking about other women's appearances?

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You can agree. Just don't agree by saying she's more gorgeous than your girl.

Don't try to pretend you know things you don't. We will call you on it. And you will feel ashamed.

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Basically? Girlfriends are excellent bullshit detectors.

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But we still love y'all.

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