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10 Reasons Technology Has Ruined My Dating Life

As a communication student you would think that by now I should be a "tech wiz" or a "social media guru". Sadly, this is not the case. After endless hours studying and paper writing, I find myself more estranged from technology than ever. Not to mention trying to maneuver the dating world online - good luck! Here are my top ten reasons for why technology has ruined my dating life:

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1. I can't win the selfie game

No amount of coachella crowns or puppy face filters can fix this mug.
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No amount of coachella crowns or puppy face filters can fix this mug.

2. I can't handle online "small talk"

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If I'm interested, I've already Facebook-stalked you beyond the need for small talk. I know your favourite sports teams and TV shows and I know you had fun on your vacation in Santa Barbara last June...

3. I can't Tinder

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I'm awkward enough in person let alone trying to strike up a virtual romance out of thin air... "So, do you like bread?"

4. I can't just Netflix without the "chill"

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Can I not just have a 36 hour pizza and Netflix binge all to myself?

5. I can't tell my parents I met my bf on Tinder...

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As all romance is being swiped from a screen, I can just imagine telling my grand children one day; "Well grand-ma was real thirsty and grand-pa swiped right..." It looks like this is the end of the romantic "meet cute."

6. I can't keep plans

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Technology makes it way too easy to ignore, bail or ghost your way out of pretty much anything you want.

7. I can't make my life look cool on Facebook

I've come to accept that strong average is my way of life, and I'm ok with that.
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I've come to accept that strong average is my way of life, and I'm ok with that.

8. I can't keep my personal life private

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Technology makes you accessible 24/7 - there's no place to hide.

9. I can't get a moment's peace

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Sup girl?

DTF?

Netflix & chill?

On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you tonight?.... North Korea.

10. And yet, I can't concentrate on anything else

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Sorry what? No, I'm listening go ahead.

And oh yea - did I mention I can't selfie?

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