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Here Are Some Of The Most Brutal Jokes From The Justin Bieber Roast

"What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million?" Bieber asked. "A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours."

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"Tonight we're going to give what his parents and the legal system should have done years ago," host Kevin Hart said. "We're going to give this boy an ass-whoopin'."


"They say that you roast the ones you love," Broad City's Hannibal Buress said, "but I don't like you at all, man. I'm just here because it's a real good opportunity for me."

"Actually you should thank me for participating in this extremely transparent attempt to be more likable in the public eye. And, I hope it doesn't work."

"Justin, as a father of six you have to straighten up, son," Shaq said. "Last year, you were ranked the fifth most hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people."


"You need to settle down, bring some balance into your life," she said.

"Find yourself the right gal, but she's going to have to really special, someone on your level, someone powerful and famous and rich.

"Someone you can smoke a joint with or engage in the occasional three-way.

"I'm talking about a player in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom," she said.


"I've turned a lot of people off in the last few years," he said. "But I know I can still put out good music and turn everything all around."

"There was really no preparing me for this life. I was thrown into this at 12 years old," he said.

"I didn't know what I was getting myself into. There were moments I am proud of. And there are moments I am disappointed with myself for. But the things I have done don't define who I am. I am kind-hearted person who loves people. And through it all, I have lost some of my best qualities. For that, I'm sorry."

"I am looking forward to being someone you can all be proud of," he said. "Someone close to me once said, 'It's how you rise from a fall that truly defines you as a man.' I'm excited for that challenge. And I want to say thank you for taking this journey with me."

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