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33 Toys That Will Never Be Under Your Christmas Tree Again

It just won't happen.

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1. Tamagotchis that would die in about 14 hours:

2. The whole world in your pocket:

Complete with an entire wardrobe:

3. Tons and tons of squeaky blow-up furniture:

4. The best way to roll around town:

5. Stamp markers aka the original emojis:

6. FLOAM:

And, of course, GAK:

7. Sweet, beautiful, gorgeous orange tapes:

8. Broken ankles in shoe form:

9. An oven that cooked food that NEVER looked like it does in this picture:

10. The most stressful game ever made:

11. This witchcraft:

12. The grooviest way to wake up:

13. The ultimate in skipping technology:

14. The original iPad:

15. These flying toys that'd knock your dang eye out:

16. The future of music:

17. Everything you need to become a master painter:

18. Basketball in the palm of your hand:

19. A dog from the FUTURE:

20. The best flashlight money can buy, complete with GREEN light:

21. Beady lizards:

22. These literary classics:

23. This impenetrable fortress:

And the apex of fashion, jelly sandals:

And a nice lil' Koosh:

24. The board game with the ultimate jingle:

25. The toy that gave you free rein to just hit everyone:

26. The only toy that yaks bak:

27. These ankle destroyers:

28. Milky pens:

And, of course, gel pens:

29. Lasers upon lasers:

30. Modern art:

31. That sweet, sweet car elevator:

32. See-through everything for absolutely no reason:

Including Game Boys:

33. The map everyone had:

And a bunch of Beanie Babies, which will all definitely be worth thousands of dollars someday:

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