The 17 Most Downright Heinous Things That Have Ever Happened

    This ain't the beach.

    1. This is insanity:

    2. Think about where your feet are. THINK ABOUT IT.

    3. THINK ABOUT THE PISS AND SHIT OF YORE!

    4. THINK ABOUT ALL THE PARTICLES!

    5. THE CRITTERS!

    6. AGAIN, THE PISS!

    7. This is not the time to be barefoot:

    8. Your ancestors never wanted this to happen:

    9. People died for your right to get PISS ALL OVER YOUR DAMN FEET!

    10. INSANITY!

    11. What leads a person to do this?

    12. What is the order of operations here? What goes through your mind?

    13. I'm speechless. Those poor toes. Po'toes. Potatoes.

    14. But, seriously. Back to the particles. THINK ABOUT THEM! THINK ABOUT IT!

    15. DID I MENTION THE LOOSE PISS?

    16. I - I - I JUST CAN'T.

    17. THIS AIN'T A BEACH.