1. The longest 8 hours of your life:

2. The relief:

3. What the original Netflix looked like:

4. How wild MySpace was:

5. How much time you wasted typing out a text:

6. The mad dash:
I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running to the bathroom/fridge/bedroom in a single ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ONNNNNN” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.
7. The worst words in the English language:

8. The dark days:

9. The wildest time to be alive:

10. What happened in McDonald's that day:

11. Peak MySpace:

12. How to effectively measure time:

13. The devestation:
The code for the bathroom at this Starbucks is 90210 which the young barista passed on matter-of-factly as "nine zero two one zero" causing me to crumble into infinity dust
14. This fact of life:

15. Who this guy is:
My dad looks like he just got a letter
16. The torture:

17. Past belts becoming future embarrassment:

18. The sanctuary:

19. The original Spotify:

20. Late 2000s babies:

21. The warm glow of the TV:

22. Proto-Alexa:

23. Becoming a technological genius:

24. The loudest sound known to humankind:

25. The no-internet struggle:

26. The implications of being that low:

27. And, finally, Blink's truth:
