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    I Honestly Feel Terrible For The 20 People Who Probably Regret Every Damn Decision They Made This Week

    I'd like one do-over, please.

    1. The person whose laptop literally melted in the heat:

    2. The person whose phone pumped a little too much iron:

    3. The person whose hiding spot was betrayed by the sun:

    4. The person who inadvertently ruined someone's whole engagement:

    5. The person whose poor, poor tire lasted only six whole days:

    6. The person who will probably be replaying the day they cut that kitchen counter over and over again in their head:

    7. The person who has to take care of their business with toilet paper for ghosts. FOR GHOSTS!

    8. The person whom I will now affectionately refer to as "Pesto Hulk":

    9. The person whose neighbor was nice enough to share their rotten juices with them:

    10. The person who will never trust a thing of mixed nuts ever again:

    11. The person who, in their words, sorta became reverse coffee Moses:

    12. The person who will never, ever get those precious 15 minutes back:

    13. The person whose dang oven went nuclear right at dinnertime:

    14. The person who had a close encounter with what they affectionately refer to as "Satan's mustache":

    15. The person who spent a fortune on what just might be the world's saddest salad:

    16. The person who's gonna be doin' some good ol' grillin' in the back of their Honda today, baby!

    17. The person whose new avant-garde TV seems to be working just fine:

    18. The person who hopefully learned a valuable lesson about driving on roofs:

    19. The person who now has a nice, slippery PS5 controller:

    20. And the person who tried so hard and got so far but in the end could not make the guy:

    You'll get 'em next time, Mom.