1. Starbucks employees hate when you scream your order at them:
Starbucks employee: “H- “ Customer: “HI CAN I GET A VENTI ICED CARAMEL MACCHIATO, WITH BREAST MILK FRESHLY SQUEEZED BY THE BARISTA HERSELF, CAN I GET IT UPSIDE DOWN, SPUN AROUND , DOUBLE BLENDED AND THROWN AT MY CAR AT EXACTLY 65 DEGREES CELSIUS WITH ONLY 4 PIECES OF ICE?!!?!!
8. Starbucks employees hate when you don't specify that you wanted something iced and act like it's their fault:
When someone hands back a beautiful latte you poured your heart and soul into, saying “i said iced!”
9. And Starbucks employees hate when you stare at them like a coffee-making zoo animal:
me, a barista making drinks as quickly as i possibly can: customer standing at the end of my handoff counter: 👁 👁 👄
12. But they absolutely hate it when literally anyone orders a frappe:
If you come to Starbucks and don't order a frappuccino, you're my favorite type of customer
20. And Starbucks employees hate when you launch into a completely one-sided order:
Me: Hi welcome to Starbucks how are you today Customer: can I get a vanilla latté M: sure thing What size C: with 2 pumps of vanilla 3 pumps of hazelnut and whip M: yeah definitely What size for that C: and no water no foam and extra hot Me: awesome what size C: and thatll be it
23. And Starbucks employees hate when you act like you're the only black coffee drinker left in the world:
customer: I just WANT a BLACK coffee no frappa dappa chino no unicorn dustchino me: okay what siz- customer: no rainbow fairy drink just old fashioned coffee me: that's great what size do yo- customer: im probably the only black coffee drinker anymore
25. Starbucks employees hate when you hang around past closing:
Attention all customers: our store will be closing in 5 minutes. If you are present in the store after closing you will be hunted for sport.
27. BUT Starbucks employees love when you agree with how awful some customers can be:
