1. The inside of a golf ball:
Why I'd Eat Them: I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Juicy, tender golf meat.
2. Purple glue:
Why I'd Eat Them: Well, I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Grape push-pop, obviously.
3. Insulation:
Why I'd Eat Them: Did I mention that I'm a big fucking idiot?
What I think they'd taste like: Cotton candy flavored house-meat.
4. Lava:
Why I'd Eat Them: In case you were wondering, I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Planet soup.
5. Aquarium gravel:
Why I'd Eat Them: Uhhhhhh... I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Rainbow Nerds.
6. Packing peanuts:
Why I'd Eat Them: FUN FACT: I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Mint cheetos.
7. Deodorant:
Why I'd Eat Them: I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Delicious lime goop.
8. These things:
Why I'd Eat Them: Hmmm. Tough question. Probably because I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Nature's corn dog.
9. Cleaning solution:
Why I'd Eat Them: Gee, well, I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Forbidden soda.
10. Ceiling:
Why I'd Eat Them: The main reason would be that I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Slightly tough kettle corn.
11. A long yellow hose:
Why I'd Eat Them: As my grand pappy used to say: I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Long banana.
12. Bouncy balls:
Why I'd Eat Them: You know, lots of people have been asking me why. The answer may surprise you: I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Nature's gum-balls.
13. Those goopy fish things:
Why I'd Eat Them: *JFK Voice* Ich bin ein big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Ice cold lemonade after a long hot day.
14. Many sided die:
Why I'd Eat Them: In case you haven't heard, I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Warheads, but with a gooey center.
15. String instrument resin:
Why I'd Eat Them: Well, the biggest reason would be that I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Sweet, goopy honey. Gimme that goop.
16. Dishwasher tablets:
Why I'd Eat Them: John 8:32: "I'm a big fucking idiot."
What I think they'd taste like: Melt in your mouth black cherry sweet tarts.
17. A 3500 year old amber bear amulet.
Why I'd Eat Them: I'll take "I'm a big fucking idiot" for 200, Alex.
What I think they'd taste like: The most beautiful, precious gummy bear.
18. Molten iron:
Why I'd Eat Them: 私は大きな馬鹿だ.
What I think they'd taste like: Spicy chipotle honey.
19. Oil:
Why I'd Eat Them: Chief among the reasons would be the fact that I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Rich, almost TOO sweet, chocolate syrup.
20. Drywall:
Why I'd Eat Them: Where to begin... where to begin... Well, for starters, I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Funfetti frosting.
21. Microwaved soap:
Why I'd Eat Them: EXTREE EXTREE, READ ALL ABOUT IT! I'm a big fucking idiot!
What I think they'd taste like: Delicious, nutritious roll.
22. Silica beads:
Why I'd Eat Them: Honestly? I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: The first bite of that apple in the Garden of Eden. A baby's first lick of ice cream. Your favorite meal. Pure, moist deliciousness.
