22 Things That Would Kill Me But I'd Still 100% Eat Without Hesitation

I'd eat without hesitation. WITHOUT. HESITATION.

1. The inside of a golf ball:

reddit.com

Why I'd eat it: I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: Juicy, tender golf meat.

2. Purple glue:

Twitter: @panickedpilots

Why I'd eat it: Well, I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: Grape Push Pop, obviously.

3. Insulation:

tumblr.com

Why I'd eat it: Did I mention that I'm a big fucking idiot?

What I think it'd taste like: Cotton candy–flavored house meat.

4. Lava:

geologyin.com

Why I'd eat it: In case you were wondering, I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: Planet soup.

5. Aquarium gravel:

walmart.com

Why I'd eat it: Uhhhhhh...I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: Rainbow Nerds.

6. Packing peanuts:

qps4u.com

Why I'd eat them: FUN FACT: I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think they'd taste like: Mint Cheetos.

7. Deodorant:

pinterest.com

Why I'd eat it: I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: Delicious lime goop.

8. These things:

me.me

Why I'd eat them: Hmmm. Tough question. Probably because I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think they'd taste like: Nature's corn dog.

9. Cleaning solution:

reddit.com

Why I'd eat it: Gee, well, I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: Forbidden soda.

10. The ceiling:

en.dopl3r.com

Why I'd eat it: The main reason would be that I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: Slightly tough kettle corn.

11. A long yellow hose:

9gag.com

Why I'd eat it: As my grandpappy used to say: I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: A long banana.

12. Bouncy balls:

Twitter: @ForbiddenSnack

Why I'd eat them: You know, lots of people have been asking me why. The answer may surprise you: I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think they'd taste like: Nature's gumballs.

13. Those goopy fish things:

Twitter: @hunnnaayyy

Why I'd eat them: *JFK voice* Ich bin ein big fucking idiot.

What I think they'd taste like: Ice-cold lemonade after a long, hot day.

14. Many-sided dice:

Twitter: @diastrons

Why I'd eat them: In case you haven't heard, I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think they'd taste like: Warheads, but with a gooey center.

15. String-instrument resin:

Twitter: @OnceUponATxrdis

Why I'd eat it: Well, the biggest reason would be that I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: Sweet, goopy honey. Gimme that goop.

16. Dishwasher tablets:

appliancesonline.com.au

Why I'd eat them: John 8:32: "I'm a big fucking idiot."

What I think they'd taste like: Melt-in-your-mouth black cherry SweeTarts.

17. A 3,500-year-old amber bear amulet:

Twitter: @historyinpix

Why I'd eat it: I'll take "I'm a big fucking idiot" for $200, Alex.

What I think it'd taste like: The most beautiful, precious gummy bear.

18. Molten iron:

Twitter: @luulubuu

Why I'd eat it: 私は大きな馬鹿だ.

What I think it'd taste like: Spicy chipotle honey.

19. Oil:

familyhandyman.com

Why I'd eat it: Chief among the reasons would be the fact that I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: Rich, almost TOO sweet chocolate syrup.

20. Drywall:

thebalance.com

Why I'd eat it: Where to begin...where to begin...well, for starters, I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think it'd taste like: Funfetti frosting.

21. Microwaved soap:

pinterest.com

Why I'd eat it: EXTREE, EXTREE, READ ALL ABOUT IT! I'm a big fucking idiot!

What I think it'd taste like: A delicious, nutritious roll.

22. Silica beads:

Twitter: @Vel_Sparko

Why I'd eat them: Honestly? I'm a big fucking idiot.

What I think they'd taste like: The first bite of that apple in the Garden of Eden. A baby's first lick of ice cream. Your favorite meal. Pure, moist deliciousness.

NOTE: Don't eat this shit! You'll feel bad! You might die! Use these products as directed, ya dumb-dumbs! C'mon!