1.
Because we can't have dads sending these kind of emojis:
2.
Because no one needs to see this sequel:
3.
Because Pennsylvania deserves better:
4.
Because someone WANTED that last period:
5.
Because of status updates like this:
6.
And parties like this:
7.
Because what you and your boyfriend's mom do is your business:
8.
Because that clown deserves their privacy:
9.
Because sometimes you just like to have it your way:
10.
Because groin beef is too expensive anyway:
11.
Because you're going to break some hearts:
12.
Because Mom doesn't need to know this:
13.
Because there's no need to excuse yourself:
14.
Because this party sounds shady:
15.
Because lubing is your own business:
16.
Because everyone knows and loves Mom's famous Jake Peni dip:
17.
Because Obama isn't a hamburger restaurant:
18.
Because no one needs to know your morning routine:
19.
Because Guillermo isn't interested in your pearls:
20.
Because this store doesn't exist yet:
21.
Because birthing isn't a casual text message convo:
22.
Because that's Mat's personal info:
23.
Because your mom doesn't need to be cleaned:
24.
And because no one deserves to be called a forklift. NO ONE:
