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Okay, I Honestly Feel Sorry For These 19 People Having The Absolute Worst Week Ever

There are rough weeks and then there are REALLY rough weeks.

Ya gotta feel for...

1. The person whose sauce had a little special extra treat all for them:

2. The person who must turn around and never look back at this mug, lest they be turned to stone:

3. The person whose phone got more destroyed than any phone has ever been destroyed:

4. The person who had the most beautiful picture taken of them:

5. The person who now must reckon with that which their cat produced from their rear end:

6. The person whose roommate sleeps with the dang Bat Signal as a nightlight:

7. The person who added a fresh layer of fashionable concrete to their Adidas Ultraboosts:

8. The person whose apartment was apparently built at the same time as the pyramids, and no, I'm not talking about the Black Pyramid of Amenemhat III — my man is quite lit'rally on some Sneferu sh*t! Am I right, folks???

I am right.

9. The person whose home now belongs to the Wasps:

10. The person who, saint preserve us, had this happen to them:

11. The person who seems to have angered Petbe, Egyptian god of revenge, in their quest to do good for the world:

Gonna need to make a call to Sekhmet after this one, folks!

12. The person who lamentably lost the last lemon lottery:

13. The person who fought valiantly and lost to the world's strongest lasagna:

14. The person who got cheesed by a dang nincompoop:

It happens, man.

15. The person who is about to have a very memorable vacation for all the wrong reasons:

16. The person who was kind enough to share their toothbrush with their roommate, who apparently is the freakin' 3,500-year-old mummy of Thutmose IV:

17. The person who accidentally ordered a delicious bowl of steamin' hot goop:

18. The person whose sporting this summer's hottest trend:

19. The person who now must be forced to deal with Bowlception:

20. The person whose closet went kaboom:

21. And the person whose car looks like it'd be found in the dang tomb room of KV55 in the Valley of the Ki — you know what? Never mind:

That's enough.