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    123 Puns That You'll Need To Be A Little Clever To Get

    Wait for the pun-ch line.

    Everyone has an opinion on puns. Our uncalled-for opinion is that they are hilarious. (We bet your dad would agree.) So we rounded up the funniest puns — with the help of Reddit, Twitter and Tumblr — that will cause sheer pun-demonium!

    1. "What is a Pepsi lover's favorite school subject? Fizz-ics."

    u/Skystrike7

    2. "I bought a pair of shoes from my drug dealer the other day. I don't know what he laced them with but I was trippin' all day."

    u/unbelizeable1

    3. "I went shopping for cherries and mics the other day. Bought a bing, bought a boom."

    u/ashalhashim

    4. "What did one body spray say to another? I can't understand you, your axe scent is too strong."

    u/PepperClover

    5. "To write with a broken pencil is pointless."

    u/ForeskinPrideFakeTit

    6. "Why would you stand in a corner if it is 90 degrees? That's way too hot."

    u/FireLordBulb

    7. "What do you call nitrogen when the sun comes up? Daytrogen."

    u/CakeLiePotatOS

    8. "After a concert, I asked ten puns if they liked the sound quality. The feedback was awful; no pun in ten did."

    u/CiaranM87

    9. "You could go ahead and start telling dad jokes now, although since you're not a real dad yet, that'd be a faux pa."

    u/notonrexmanningday

    10. "The other day a man assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How dairy."

    u/EvilMorganFreeman

    11. "How do you throw a space party? You planet."

    u/Who_cares_about_name

    12. "What do you call a cow that just gave birth? DeCALFinated."

    u/wenadin

    13. "I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words."

    u/Who_cares_about_name

    14. "Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines everywhere!"

    u/oposada

    15. "Whiteboards are remarkable."

    u/jksol

    16. "That scarecrow is really good at his job. He's outstanding in his field."

    u/fitzlurker

    17. "Net fix and chill."

    18. "Did you hear about the circus that caught on fire? It was in tents."

    u/anonymous

    19. "What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila Mockingbird"

    u/PepperClover

    20. "Never tell a pun to a kleptomaniac because they always take things literally."

    u/Coldpiss

    21. "Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed."

    u/anonymous

    22. "Saw this bread and not one person laughed when I said 'dat ass dough.'"

    23. "What kind of music do you play at a space party? Neptunes."

    u/MoonMoon_2015

    24. "One bird can't make a pun. But toucan."

    u/not_even_a_doggo

    25. "Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!"

    u/anonymous

    26. "Big Foot caught on tape!"

    27. "The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan."

    u/anonymous

    28. "Atoms are such liars...they make up everything."

    u/t33g33

    29. "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

    u/TheRustyHodge

    30. "I, for one, like Roman numerals."

    u/SGNick

    31. "Orion’s Belt is a waist of space...Not the best pun, admittedly, I’d give it 3 stars out of 5."

    u/Rt4Konflict

    32. "Wow, look at the van Gogh."

    33. "Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tearable."

    u/anonymous

    34. "Heroes in a half shell."

    35. "Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!"

    u/anonymous

    36. "What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1"

    u/DaxBati

    37. "Walking on the shore, I spotted a gigantic clam. I tried to drag it back home but I had to stop 'cause I pulled a mussel."

    u/KeinuSulttaani

    38. "I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

    u/anonymous

    39. "Studying to become a licensed funeral director is a grave undertaking."

    u/Back2Bach

    40. "My leaf blower doesn't work; it sucks."

    u/cobaltcollapse

    41. "Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?"

    u/steggo

    42. "Lays Miserables"

    43. "Don't drink with ghosts, they can't handle their boos."

    u/prettyfacebasketcase

    44. Christian Bale

    45. "What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs? A con-descending."

    u/akiramari

    46. "Had some mushrooms this morning...breakfast of champignons."

    u/OneManParade

    47. "We ordered Chinese food and it didn’t come with any cookies and I can’t stop talking about how ‘unfortunate’ this is."

    @simoncholland

    48. "What do you call a bad chemist? An oxymoron."

    u/Augenmann

    49. "What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds"

    u/TubaGuy95

    50. "I wanted to post this just in case."

    51. "I honestly don't have the koalafications, my puns are unbearable."

    u/cdman117

    52. "Wanna hear a joke about pizza? Never mind it's too cheesy."

    u/Bakesail

    53. "I was home for Christmas and my parents cooked a beef tenderloin. I said, 'Man, Budapest is going to love this.' They asked who Budapest was. I said, 'I named my stomach Budapest because it’s the capital of HUNGRY' and that’s when they stopped calling me son."

    @TLBurkhalter

    54.

    55. "Pew pew."

    56. "I hate how funerals are always at like 9 or 10 AM. I’m not a mourning person."

    awesomephilia

    57. "A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, 'What’s this about?' The bartender replies, 'Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone’s drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?' The guy replies, 'Nah, the steaks are too high.'”

    englishmajorhumor

    58. "One time I prepared homemade soup and I texted a girl a photo of it and said, 'Get you a man who can do broth' and she left me on read."

    @SortaBad

    59. "My grandma bought my grandpa new pants and my mom asked him how they felt and he goes, "Like a cheaply made castle.” And we were like, 'what?' and he goes, “No ballroom.”

    taylorwearsheelys

    60. "Jokes about 90° angles are all right with me."

    anonymous

    61.

    62. "On my tombstone please write: 'Not appreciating my puns when I was alive was a grave mistake.'"

    sadnessandpuns

    63. "I have an emotional attachment to this email."

    64. "Shout 'out' to the people wondering what the opposite of 'in' is."

    u/lowerbrassrules

    65. "I stayed up all night wondering when the sun would rise, then it dawned on me."

    u/lindymad

    66. "I remember my mom's Uncle Joe died and got cremated and we were on the way to the funeral and she said she wanted some coffee and my older brother said, 'Well, we got a box of Joe right here' and that didn’t make her laugh."

    @RemmyBux

    67. "A UFO caught on tape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    68. We told our pizza delivery man to write a joke on the box. He delivered.

    69. "Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing."

    u/UnderwaterLabTune

    70. "Have you ever noticed that Ireland is just one sea away from Iceland?"

    u/BackFromOtterSpace

    71. *Tucks shirt in* "Goodnight, shirt."

    @MichaelJErhart

    72. "Is that the Fanta of the Opera?"

    73. "Google Slides. Google Docs."

    74. How do you guys like my first attempt at 3D printing?

    75. "When does a joke become a 'dad joke'? When it becomes apparent."

    @MikeTaddow

    76. "A bipartisan bill legalizing medical marijuana for use in alleviating symptoms of arthritis would be joint support for joint support for joint support!"

    u/aron_bassoon

    77. Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Me: I have pain in both legs

    78. "There are good cheese puns and bad cheese puns. Between them, there’s a gruyerea."

    @MJMcKean

    79. "A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive."

    @ceejoyner

    80. "Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble. You have my word."

    u/legenwaitforitdanny

    81. "My girlfriend said we had a massive leak in the fridge..."

    82. "A lady just dropped a steak while I was at Aldi. I said, 'Whoops, now it’s ground beef.' She didn’t laugh or seem slightly amused but that’s showbiz baby."

    @Pat_Lenz

    83. "Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? They lactose."

    @Getthebagcoach

    84. "Damn it. My water broke."

    85. "The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran."

    u/futbolerorsl

    86. "I only know 25 letters of the alphabet; I don't know why."

    u/jtlcr777

    87.

    88. "She told me i was average, but she was just being mean."

    u/superbacon807

    89. "I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician when I pulled a habit out of a rat."

    b_team_hero

    90. "Legend....dairy..."

    91. "My skiing skills are really going downhill."

    u/Jabberminor

    92. "Ice, ice, baby."

    93.

    94. "Confusion today when a stationery store moved."

    u/BigHarold

    95. "I thought my nose was bleeding, but it's not."

    u/rickster999

    96. "When I went to college I was going to join the debate team but someone talked me out of it."

    u/Tom_Bombadilll

    97. "I was gonna start a procrastination club, but I never got around to it."

    u/Taravangian

    98. "I hate going to the dentist because every time I go, my tongue gets depressed."

    u/Jerhicco

    99.

    100. "German sausage jokes are just the wurst."

    u/seanclaudevandamme

    101. "The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize."

    u/vaginalava

    102. "Velcro - what a rip off."

    u/dingobiscuits

    103. "A new type of broom came out. It's sweeping the nation."

    u/BabiesOnQuack

    104.

    105. "I hear there's a new reversible jacket coming out soon. I can't wait to see how it turns out."

    u/anonymous

    106. "I used to be indecisive; now I'm not so sure."

    u/saving1000

    107.

    [on doorstep after date] me: what would you say to coffee? her: I dunno, maybe "how have you BEAN?" me: that's pretty good you can come in

    Twitter: @MarfSalvador

    108. "The man entered his home and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house."

    aerostarmunk

    109.

    110. "People don't like jokes about electrons because they're taken negatively."

    u/OPDiddntDeliver

    111. "Puns are the lowest form of wit, but poetry is verse."

    u/Elegba

    112.

    113. "I met a guy at an internet cafe, but we didn't click."

    u/GetThoseNailBreakers

    114. "Bakers trade recipes, on a knead to know basis."

    u/YetAnotherBadPun

    115. "A diminutive psychic on the run from the law is a small medium at large."

    u/lordatomosk

    116. "You're a Dora bowl!"

    117.

    football coach: i need you guys to make a play (8 months later at opening night) football coach: wait wtf is this

    Twitter: @rancheroni

    118. "When you tryna be cheesy but everyone around you is laughtose intolerant."

    @ColIegeStudent

    119. "The mailman told me he's off to Spain tomorrow, so I asked him if he was going to Parcelona."

    tanngelo

    120.

    silently waiting your turn to unleash the literal game changer

    Twitter: @rottingpain

    121. "I bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

    iraffiruse

    122. "What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 feet long A πthon."

    cloysterbell

    123.

    This article contains content from Andy Golder, Dave Stopera, Andrew Ziegler, Angelica Martinez, Tanner Greenring, and Hattie Soykan. It was compiled by Kelly Rissman.