1. The dude with the best bed ever... Via armenianweezy.tumblr.com ...because now you have an excuse to never, ever leave your bedz. 2. The guy who ordered like this at Starbucks... Via themetapicture.com ...so you and all the other members of the Official Ferris Bueller fan club can high-five over it. 3. This lady... Via instagram.com ...so you can find out if her mom misspelled "Erica," or what. 4. This girl on Omegle... Via mr-nice-watch.tumblr.com ...so you can see the cool thing this guy got in the mail. 5. Joey's friend "Pizza..." Via hexgirlfriend666.tumblr.com ...so you could not only help your friend beat his habit, but also be named Pizza. It's a win-win. 6. Dylan... Via ghostnotebusters.tumblr.com ...so you can find out if YOU HAD HOMEWORK. 7. The pug-shirt-selfie dude... Via blog.collegehumor.com ...because you just PERFECTED the selfie. 8. This hummus enthusiast... Via bootycaller.tumblr.com ...so you can continue spreading the word of hummus. 9. The guy who had way too much 5-Hour Energy... Via toppicjunk.com ...so you can finally feel what it is like to TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL. 10. The person who actually found out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop... Via empowernetwork.com ...so you can go out and get a life now. 11. Martin Cooper, inventor of the cell phone... Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via noahknowz.tumblr.com ...so you can feel guilty about making this happen. 12. Lasonya... Via sidnugget.tumblr.com ...so your name would be LASONYA. COME ON. Also, it looks like you'd be good at math too. 13. This animal... Via ike-bowski.tumblr.com ...for obvious reasons. 14. Sarah... Via sle4zy.tumblr.com ...because you just got exactly what you want. 15. The girl who can sneeze with her eyes open... Via profpic.tumblr.com ...so you can never have to involuntarily blink AGAIN. 16. The person writing this comment... Via mlkshk.com ...because congrats, you just won the internet. 17. The next person to use this vending machine... ...because you're about to hit the JACKPOT. 18. This guy whose friend slightly Photoshopped every picture of him... Via oliandalex.com ...so you can finally have a good reason to delete your Facebook. 19. Jesse... Via pandawhale.com ...so you can start a company that specializes in selling fireplace pictures of ceiling fans. 20. Anyone who has ever seen a galloping camel in real life... Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Via gifbin.com ...for obvious reasons, yet again. 21. Any of these local legends... Via Facebook: l.php ...because you are now infinitely more famous than Paris Hilton. 22. Jake Gyllenhaal... Via anongallery.org ...so you can find out what is so damn funny about that sandwich. 23. The person who had the world's dumbest rumor told about themselves... Via loljaja.com ...so you do an interview with Oprah and write a book about your pain. 24. This Florida man... Via blogs.miaminewtimes.com ...so you can find out the way his magical, majestic brain works. 25. This fantastic cook... Via weknowmemes.com ...so you can learn his secret. 26. Anyone in line with this drunk lady at the airport... Via inthecapital.com ...because what better time to party than at 7:30 a.m. 27. The person who knit these mini-horses a sweater... Via tales-from-the-awkward.tumblr.com ...because guess what? I need you to make all my clothes now. 28. The college students who go to school where this happened... Via deerpong.tumblr.com ...because you are learning REAL, APPLICABLE life skills. 29. The students of this class... Via shortiegetsitdone.tumblr.com ...so you can learn the skills necessary to compete in our competitive job market. 30. The author of this shocking short story... Via leftnipple.tumblr.com ...because you will most certainly win a Pulitzer. 31. And also the author of this fascinating math textbook... Via johneggsandbacon.tumblr.com ...because you just ruined math even more. 32. The owner of this fridge... Via abenteuerzeit.tumblr.com ...so you can finally prove once and for all that orange is the best flavor. 33. The red-shirted guy who helped his friend move into his new apartment... Via videobash.com ...because then you can be that guy who clearly isn't helping out and is just sitting around eating pudding. In the end, though, your friend totally owes you a favor. 34. The girl who wore a Nicolas Cage blanket all around school... Via hamwhack.tumblr.com ...for obvious reasons, one last time. 35. And Richard Gray... Via facebook.com ...because you are then a perfect human being.