Honestly, I Don't Think I'll Ever Be The Same After Reading These 20 Tweets
My life is divided into two moments: before I read this post and after.
1. On stairs:
saw a tweet tht said u can’t stand backwards on stairs nd now it’s all I can think about
2. On days:
There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we are all just trusting that someone kept count since the first time it happened.
3. On spoons:
spoons are just little bowls on sticks
4. On lasagna:
if u had 1 lasagna and u put it on another lasagna, you’d still only have 1 lasagna
5. On legs:
Just found out when someone tells you to “break a leg” in an audition it is because they are hoping you end up in the cast. Now my head is exploding
6. On queues:
just realised that the 'ueue' in queue is silent...
And on teas:
7. On birthdays:
Balloons are strange. It's like, happy birthday, here's a plastic sack of my breath.
8. On toasting:
Did anyone else not know that the numbers on toasters are minutes!?! I thought it was just different levels of toastiness.
9. On pizza:
pizza rolls are just italian gushers
10. On nursery rhymes:
I was today years old when I found out that “this little piggy went to the market” doesn’t mean he went food shopping...
11. On sentences:
is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
12. On maybes:
13. On ducks:
I just realized when your phone autocorrects to “ducking” it means crouching down and has nothing to do with ducks. How did I forget that was a real word
14. On the past:
I wonder if, in past times, the space on Earth currently being occupied by my kitchen was the site of an epic life-or-death battle between two giant dinosaurs.
15. On macaroni and cheese:
Is macaroni and cheese "mac" because it's short for macaroni or because "mac" is an acronym for macaroni and cheese?🤯🤔
16. On time:
17. On discourse:
I hate the word “discourse” it just sounds like Goofy saying “discuss”
18. On chicken:
When you buy and eat half a chicken, you are secretly sharing a meal with a stranger.
19. On oranges:
still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature
20. And on the world:
![flat-earther: [opens mouth]
me: did you know the world is actually just a cat playing with Australia??](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1284656572589907971/6F9z-X_B_normal.jpg)
flat-earther: [opens mouth] me: did you know the world is actually just a cat playing with Australia??
Wow. Everything is different now.