So, in case you haven't been outside yet or haven't read every other person on the internet talking about it or had the good sense to move to a place where humans can thrive, it's REALLY COLD OUT TODAY.
How cold? Two emojis cold:
1.But you shouldn't complain. I mean, have you forgotten?
2.Does this not fill your heart with dread?
3.Does this not make you want to stay inside forever?
4.Is this really what you want?
5.Is this what you want your arm to look like?
6.Is this what you want your legs to look like?
7.WHAT ABOUT YOUR KNEES? YOUR PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS KNEES???
8.OR YOUR FOREHEAD?
9.WHAT ABOUT YOUR PHILTRUM? YOUR SWEET, SWEET PHILTRUM?
10.OR — HEAVEN HELP US — THE BOTTOM OF YOUR FOOT?
11.DOES THIS MAKE YOU SAY, "DANG. SURE WISH IT WAS A LOT WARMER OUT"?
12.HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN?
13.DO YOU MISS SPENDING ALL YOUR FREE TIME MAKING TINY LITTLE SHAME X'S?
14.IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?
15.DOES THE COLD REALLY FEEL SO BAD NOW?
16.WHAT ABOUT NOW?
17.THESE SUMMER BEASTS EXIST ONLY TO MOCK US:
18.TO PLAY GAMES WITH US:
19.TO PROVIDE US WITH A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH:
20.AND TO THE SELFIES THAT WE CHERISH MOST:
21.SO THE NEXT TIME YOU START GETTING UPSET OVER HOW COLD IT IS JUST REMEMBER:
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