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1. How would you describe your physique?
AverageCarved out of stoneSkinnyDad-esque -
2. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to win this fight?
Definitely. The rules don't apply with five year olds.No. You need to draw the line somewhere, and I do exactly that with five year olds.I don't know, man, maybe. Depends how annoying they are. -
3. Have you ever actually beat up a five year old?
YesNoI refuse to answer this question -
4. What's your five year old whoopin' strategy?
Stand still and have them come at me one by one, using their own flawed attack strategy against themSwing my arms around like a helicopter, hoping to knock five year olds on the front line backwards into other five year olds thus creating a sort of domino effect with their tiny bodiesTake things as they come. Five year olds are unpredictable.Attempt peace -
5. How many fights have you actually been in?
Too many to countOnly a fewNever been in a fight -
6. Would you describe yourself as a person that can be "climbed easily?"
AbsolutelyAbsolutely NOT -
7. Are you male or female?
I am maleI am femaleI am male but wearing a protective cup. I am coming from football practice.I do not identify as male or female -
8. Do you have any self-defense training?
YesNoNo, because this isn't self-defense. This is ALL OUT WAR. -
9. If need be, would you be willing to use one of the 5 year olds as an improvised weapon?
Just call me Derek JeterPlease do not call me Derek JeterNo -
10. What age group do you fall in?
15-2122-3031-4041-90
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