Last year, kids all over the country started their first year of high school. These kids, the class of 2021, were by and large born in 2003 and 2004, so it’s safe to assume that their high school experience will be a LITTLE different than yours. Here’s how…
1. They're as old as the Numa Numa dance:
2. The same age as "End of Ze World":
3. And were born the same year Star Wars Kid first did his glorious, glorious thing:
4. They were born the same year NOW 14 came out:
Which had this tracklist:
In case you missed it... THEY WERE BORN THE SAME YEAR AS "CRAZY IN LOVE".
Which means you probably have an mp3 of "Crazy In Love" that's OLDER than them:
(By the way, we're up to Now 64.)
5. They've never known a world without The O.C. in it...
...or Finding Nemo.
6. "Hey Ya" could have been playing the day they were born:
And Elf could have been on TV:
7. They were born the same year San Andreas came out:
The same year Oprah yelled "YOU GET A CAR!"
The same year this ol' book came out:
And they're the same age as iTunes. ITUNES!
8. They've never had to do this:
9. And they've never had to lug around two devices like a BARBARIAN:
10. They can confidently say they're "Shrek 2-years-old":
Or 24-cycles-of-America's-Next-Top-Model-Old:
11. They've never been alive while Britney and Justin have been a couple:
12. They have no idea what a "wardrobe malfunction" TRULY IS:
13. The Livestrong bracelet is younger than they are:
14. And they've never known a world in which Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie aren't famous:
15. When they were born, this was Nickelodeon's schedule:
Speaking of which, they've never lived in a world without Spongebob:
Or a world where Friends has been on air:
16. If they told an adult they were born the year Madonna and Britney kissed, we'd know what that means:
17. I mean their birthday could literally be the infamous Ashlee Simpson jig day:
18. And at the same time the LOST text was hurdling towards you they were hurdling out of the womb:
19. Blink-182 is classic rock to them:
DC's classic rock radio station just played Blink-182, so if anyone needs me, I'll be over here collapsing into a pile of sentient dust.
20. The Razr is a MUSEUM artifact:
And the N64? ANCIENT HISTORY.
21. They've never known what it's like to actually have to push a damn germ-infested button to dry your hands:
Or what it's like for your phone to NOT have a camera
So they don't know the struggle of hating your pictures but just delayed a couple of weeks.
22. Instead of BC and AD, if it was Before Christina's Dirty Era and After Christina's Dirty Era, they've only been alive since 1 ACDE.
23. This relic doesn't mean anything to them:
And these red envelopes? Nada.
And "be kind, rewind" might as well be a foreign language to them:
Which means they've never experienced this struggle:
24. They've never lived in a world with monthly texting limits:
Or experienced the struggle that is "free nights and weekends":
25. They were born the same year every teen worth their weight in salt was getting these notifications:
26. They'll never know what true patience means:
And for them, this might as well be in the museum of Natural History:
27. And don't even get me started on hashtags...
