1. First things first: You’re going to need to pay attention. Now put your fist in the center and watch everything speed up:
2. Now take a moment to reflect and be glad that this person who just got a face full of poop isn’t you:
Or the man who will never be able to look at a soccer ball again:
Or somebody caught twerkin’ in all the wrong places:
3. Now you’re going to need to get focused. So first, let’s focus on this dog. Doesn’t he look like Samuel L. Jackson?
6. And make sure your house is clean:
7. It’s also time to listen to a turtle having sex with a shoe:
8. And to learn a fun fact about polar bears:
You don’t want to turn out like Gabe Perez, do you?
Do you want to be a pancake artist?
Or maybe you want to be like this guy?
11. You’re also probably going to want to take a new Facebook profile picture. I mean, you can’t get started if you don’t have a good Facebook profile picture, right?
No, you cannot:
13. You probably want to do this:
15. WATCH THIS VERY INFORMATIVE VIDEO THAT WILL DEFINITELY GET YOU MOTIVATED!
- White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer repeated claims that the inauguration was the most watched ever. But the numbers (still) don't make sense.
- Britain's Supreme Court has ruled that Prime Minister Theresa May needs to consult parliament before triggering Brexit.
- People are backing one of the Women's March organizers after conservative blogs claimed she has deep ties to terrorism.
- "The Great Liberation Of France" is a private chat room that Trump Supporters are using to manipulate French voters 💬👀