1. The out-of-body experience:
me forgetting that i exist while i’m driving
2. The fridge stack:
When something clearly doesn’t fit in the fridge so you force the door shut and let it fall out on someone else
3. The final brush:
Is it a universal thing to brush your teeth an hour before the dentist to try and hide the prior 6 months of neglect?
4. The immediate track:
my impatient ass tracking the order i just placed 2 minutes ago
5. The lock amnesia:
5 sec after i locking the door me : did i lock the door ? my brain :
6. The time double-check:
Does anyone else ever pull their phone out to check the time but then have to do it again cuz they forgot to actually look at the clock or am I just stupid
7. The hidden hill breathing:
Y’all ever try to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so bystanders don’t hear you fighting for your life
8. The immediate ignore:
One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name I forget to listen to what their name is. I really need to work on this
9. The quadruple overpack:
Does anyone else pack underwear for a trip like they're planning on shitting themselves twice for every day they're gone?
10. The shower dilemma:
Me in the shower trying to remember if I used shampoo
11. The sacrificial sleep:
me: *finally gets eight hours of sleep* my neck: yeah but u did it wrong lol
12. The security anxiety:
U know that feeling of anxiety as you’re about to walk past the security sensors on your way out of a store and u think omg did I shove a tv up my ass i can't remember
13. The song squeeze:
Me trying to squeeze a 5 minute song in before I arrive at my destination that's 2 minutes away
14. The music paranoia:
Checking to see if those weird sounds are part of the music or not
15. The google of shame:
When you Google the lyrics of a song and realise you’ve been singing nonsense for 6 months
16. The school shuffle:
Who else did this when submitting class work in school😂😂
17. The charger yoga:
Me at 3am trying to plug in my charger without getting out of the bed
18. The super-stupid question:
yall ever have to google a question so dumb that u gotta go into incognito mode
19. The headphone pull:
When you've got ear phones in but forget and walk away from your laptop
20. The synchronized breathing:
You ever lay next to someone and try to breath like them and almost die???
21. The great risk:
me risking my job, career and future to get extra 15 minutes of sleep
22. The shower envy:
i should get in the shower *2 hours later someone else starts the shower* me: oh my god fuck you i was JUST about to get in there
23. The ol' towel excuse:
sorry i’m late i was sat on my bed with a towel for 45 minutes staring at a wall.
Valid, honestly.