Skip To Content

    19 Things They Really Need To Teach You Before You Become An Adult

    Only the essentials in here.

    1. Cheese will betray you:

    Me at 5: I want to be an astronaut Me at 15: I want to be a pro athlete Me at 25: fuck me how expensive is cheese

    2. You'll never know what to eat:

    Who knew the the most taxing part of being an adult is trying to figure out what the fuck to have for dinner every goddamn night until you die

    3. Always be ready to drop $20:

    4. Sponges are key:

    5. There is only one grown up drink:

    6. The grocery store is out of its mind:

    peak adulting is when you start using the phrase “they done lost their damn mind” regarding prices at the grocery store

    7. Mail is terrifying:

    I remember the way I used to get excited whenever I received a letter addressed to me when I was younger but every time I receive one now I think “fucking what now”

    8. Your 2nd grade self was out of control:

    At 25 I pictured myself married with 2 kids....bro what was I smoking in the 2nd grade

    9. You got to be ready for the avalanche:

    You're not an adult until you have a cabinet full of Tupperware and every time you open it they all spill out and you can never find a matching lid for the one you want to use.

    10. Exclamations are key:

    Adult email culture is ending every sentence with an exclamation point, then proofreading to see how many is socially acceptable to keep.

    11. Everyone's just winging it:

    12. You need those extra three minutes:

    i really be trying to take 2-3 minute naps in the morning, my alarm will go off at 6:30 and I’m like “I’ll get up at 6:33”

    13. $100 is a lot and simultaneously not a lot:

    $100 is basically an adult dollar 🤷🏾‍♂️

    14. 8pm is far too late:

    15. Sometimes ya gotta say no:

    BEING AN ADULT PRO: Nobody can stop you from eating cheese and Oreos for dinner CON: Nobody can stop you from eating cheese and Oreos for dinner

    16. You're always on the verge:

    Best parts about being an adult: -fierce trust issues -always anxious about something but can rarely pinpoint what -constantly on the verge of a sinus infection -wait no

    17. Sometimes you gotta put it back:

    Y’all ever put a $7.02 pack of chicken back and got a pack that was $6.98?! 😭

    18. It's a lot like being stuck upside down:

    19. And it never ends:

    I just cannot believe I have to be an adult for the rest of my life

    The end!