Internet Finds·Posted on Nov 15, 202150 Hilariously Awkward Conversations Parents Had With Their Kids That Make Me Laugh No Matter How Many Times I've Seen Them"My brother, Mark, has a birthmark. I asked my mom where my birthmatthew was."by Dave StoperaBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. The nighttime convo: Mel @Tweetsnwhatnot My toddler, who was not previously accustomed to being awake after dark, just looked outside and screamed “where is the backyard?!” 12:58 AM - 10 Nov 2021 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Tweetsnwhatnot 2. The FaceTiming convo: Not the Nanny @not_thenanny My toddler dropped my phone while she was FaceTiming my mom, gasped, picked it back up, and asked, “grandma, are you ok???” It was the cutest-dumbest thing Ive ever seen. 01:14 PM - 22 Jun 2021 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @not_thenanny 3. The report card convo: ⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️ @PurestInNoSense My son got his report card today and academically he did well but his teacher wrote a note specifying “ he needs to use kind words with friends “ . I asked him about it and he said “ My friends are dumb and they need to know “ 01:31 AM - 24 Mar 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @purestinnosense 4. The perish convo: Gloriatunu @Gloriatunu1 I remember when I was younger I thought perish was a good word. I was praying with my family one night and I prayed that we would all perish. The silence that filled the room is unforgettable 😂🤣😭 07:50 PM - 28 Jul 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @gloriatunu1 5. The Hangman convo: Josh @iwearaonesie [playing Hangman] son: 3! me: It has to be a letter son: Oh. 9! me *looks at wife* Are we cousins? 06:03 PM - 02 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @iwearaonesie 6. The coffee convo: Steve 🏳️🌈 @papaneedscoffee 2y.o eating his lunch: “Papa’s coffee hot?” Me: “Yeah baby it’s hot, don’t touch.” 2y.o: “Me blow on it for Papa?” It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it.. 02:09 PM - 28 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @papaneedscoffee 7. The lasagna convo: Professional Worrier @pro_worrier_ Hats off to the waiter that kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna. 03:26 PM - 22 Jun 2021 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @pro_worrier_ 8. The fireworks convo: Till Next Time Love’ @CyphDadNextdoor Just told my son they popping fireworks for my birthday and he believed me he said “they really love you daddy” 😂😂😭😭 kids so gullible 02:30 AM - 05 Jul 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @cyphdadnextdoor 9. The eating convo: Marcy G @BunAndLeggings 3yo: Mom, did you eat all the penis? Me: 3yo: You like penis, mom??? Me: 3yo: Me: 3yo: Me: PEANUTS! Yes, I ate the peanuts. 3yo: You like penis. 03:07 PM - 25 May 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @BunAndLeggings 10. The dragon convo: James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 6-year-old: Do dragons fart fire? Me: I don't know. 6: I thought you went to college. 09:12 PM - 06 Jan 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @xplodingunicorn 11. The hog convo: chore daddy (normal) @chore_daddy my 10yo has learned the phrase "cranking the hog" but doesn't know what it means, so he uses it to mean "what's up," like yesterday when I was cooking: "how's it going dad, crankin the ol hog?" I love this for my family 03:11 PM - 22 Oct 2021 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @chore_daddy 12. The teeth convo: Luciux Riker @Luciuxness When my son was 4 he saw a commercial that said "brushing alone is not enough to prevent cavities and tooth decay" so he made us start brushing our teeth with him. It's been 3 years. Nobody tell him. 04:29 PM - 17 Aug 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @luciuxness 13. The Itchy Man convo: reddit.com 14. The school convo: CeciATL @CeciATL my daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and i told her it’s against the law and they’ll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said “i’ll visit you” 03:39 PM - 28 Jan 2021 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @ceciatl 15. The nose convo: ThisOneSays @ThisOneSayz My 7 year old: *staring at my face* Me: What is it, sweetie? My 7 year old: Is my nose weird, too? Kids are delightful. 05:37 PM - 09 Feb 2021 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @ThisOneSayz 16. The searching convo: Adam B. Hill, M.D. @Adamhill1212 5yo asked me to go find something downstairs. I couldn’t find it. 5yo: “I’ve got an idea. This time, go back downstairs and try your best”. 11:58 PM - 25 Jun 2021 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @adamhill1212 17. The hiding convo: Richard Dean @dad_on_my_feet [How to lose at Hide-and-seek] Me: [eyes closed] 1...2....3..... 4yo: [whispers] Daddy can I hide in your shirt? 03:12 PM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @dad_on_my_feet 18. The growing up convo: omfgsid.tumblr.com 19. The bat convo: ally @TragicAllyHere I bought my son a book about bats and halfway through it he shouted out, “WHAT??? BATS ARE REAL?!?!” All this time he thought they were made up for Halloween like ghosts and witches 01:43 AM - 16 Aug 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @tragicallyhere 20. The meat convo: Facebook 21. The hide and go seek convo: Facebook 22. The service convo: reddit.com 23. The sun convo: Nik @jacaristar Daughter didn’t want “sunscream” so I put her outside and yelled “SUN.... GET HER” and now she’s flipping out. 06:36 PM - 25 Aug 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @jacaristar 24. The dinner convo: kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed 3: Mommy, I don’t want dinner!! Me: I’m not making dinner, I’m making you a big snack 3: Yay! Snacks! 𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 09:20 PM - 01 Oct 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @kids_kubed 25. The bleach convo: Julz @azedi *Opens bottle of bleach* Nephew : How did you open it? I tried but it didn't open. Me : Oh it's coz it has a child safety lock. Children can't open it. *nephew looks at bottle in amazement* Nephew : How did it know I was a child? 🤣🤣🤣 03:30 PM - 27 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @azedi 26. The toast convo: TwinzerDad @TwinzerDad Toddler: Daddy I want toast. Me: ok, buddy. Here’s some toast. Toddler: I don’t like butter on my toast Me: (flips toast over to the dry side and hands it back) There ya go. Toddler: Thanks Daddy! Toddlers are dumb. Take advantage of it while you can. #Dadlife 04:57 PM - 23 Jan 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @twinzerdad 27. The counting convo: Facebook 28. The fart convo: Reddit.com 29. The Christmas convo: JennyPentland GED @JennyPentland I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed "yay! TWO christmases!" from the other room. 09:11 AM - 06 May 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @jennypentland 30. The smell convo: Ramzy Nasrallah @ramzy 9-year old: Dad smell this. You licked a puss. Me: [mutes TV] what 9-year old: it’s so good. Smell it. You licked a puss. Me: ... 9-year old: [hands me a candle jar] Me. It’s *eucalyptus* 03:56 PM - 17 Dec 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @ramzy 31. The drain convo: Twitter 32. The souvenir convo: marie bourgeois @mmbtox @Karnythia I woke up to 3 yo kid #4 petting my head. I asked what she needed and she said 'i wish i had a piece of you that i could carry with me all the time. like your finger.' Haven't slept soundly since. 12:08 AM - 28 Jan 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mmbtox 33. The mice convo: imgur.com 34. The emergency convo: Twitter 35. The bedtime convo: witchmom.tumblr.com 36. The salty convo: reddit.com 37. The inside convo: That Mom Tho @mom_tho 4: Mom, how long was dad inside you? Me: 4: Mom??? Me: What the f- 4: Well??? How long was he inside you before you had him? Me: Oh honey no I didn’t birth your dad, grandma did! 09:56 PM - 05 Sep 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @mom_tho 38. The crying convo: Tomer Ullman @TomerUllman (4yo daughter is crying her eyes out) Me: "What's wrong, tutu?" 4yo (moving her hands on the sofa): "If my fingers were markers they would ruin the sofa!" Me: "But your fingers...are not...markers?" 4yo (peak distress): "I said IF!" 01:00 PM - 31 Jul 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @tomerullman 39. The table convo: Melissa @Fiveoclockmommy Kids are the best, man. They get all shocked when you figure out they did something wrong like, “mom how’d you know I colored on the table?” Um, because you wrote your fucking name on it? 10:00 PM - 17 Jan 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Fiveoclockmommy 40. The salary convo: James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: Why do you go to work? Me: They pay me a salary. 4-year-old: Me: 4-year-old: I don’t even like celery. 08:25 PM - 28 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @xplodingunicorn 41. The Target convo: klefable.tumblr.com 42. The walls convo: straighthater.tumblr.com 43. The glasses convo: Jesse Modz @jessemodz We cant find my 6 year olds glasses. Today we asked him where they are. He said and I quote “I threw them in the garbage yesterday, the lenses were dirty”. $400 - see yeah! 02:15 AM - 02 Jan 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @jessemodz 44. The Disney convo: got-stars-in-your-eyes.tumblr.com 45. The punch convo: Taika Waititi @TaikaWaititi My daughter just punched me so hard in the balls and won't apologise. She just said "Well I dunno", and walked off. Quarantine is going awesome. 01:40 AM - 12 Apr 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @taikawaititi 46. The chicken convo: Average Dad @Average_Dad1 “Dad isn’t it weird that the word chicken can mean an animal or a type of food?” - my kid, on the verge of making a horrific realization 11:55 PM - 29 Mar 2021 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @average_dad1 47. The quesadilla convo: Twitter: @kanm03 48. The scale convo: Twitter: @maybehaps 49. The air convo: MaMthombeni @knowbuntu My son keeps grabbing fists of air and screaming ‘mine’. My daughter is crying saying Tj is stealing my air....they are in my bedroom, on a Saturday morning....😪😪😪 07:32 AM - 07 Jul 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @knowbuntu 50. And the confetti convo: Twitter: @annastayshaa Deck quotation via here.