27 Signs You Were Raised By Asian Immigrant Parents
Specifically East Asian (Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc.) See these other posts for Indians and Persians.
Before prom, your parents had stern words for your date:
On vacations, your parents took photos like this:
They did this at the fruit aisle:
And ordered hot water at restaurants.
They coached you on starving before a buffet and gorging only on rib eye and lobsters. Seafood-phobes were deadweight in buffet Olympics.
When the bill came, older relatives fought, i.e., yelled and screamed in the middle of the restaurant, for the right to pay.
Some distant cousin or family friend's son/daughter is always being trotted out as a paragon of perfection that you're falling short of.
When you got sick, your parents fed you bitter herbal brews, or sent you to weird bruising traditional treatments:
Your mom's always convinced it's too cold without a jacket outside.
Your relatives stuffed you with awesome food. And they didn't hesitate to comment when your waistline ballooned.
You ate savory breakfasts littered with jarred pickles. Rice was always involved.
When they visited you, they always crashed on some relative's couch, or kicked you out of your own bed.
The remote control is wrapped in plastic wrap.
For a household that was low on luxury, there were a lot of foot massagers, back massagers, massage hammers, and massage accessories.
Your mom put fluffy dried pork into your sandwiches, and your friends said it looked like hair.
Your fridge was packed with jars whose labels never matched the food within.
You only had bowls. No plates.
The dishwasher was used only as a drying rack.
In the drawers were free napkins, cups, utensils, and mini shampoo bottles your parents hoarded from hotels.
Saturdays, you studied your parents' native tongues. Sundays, you practiced an instrument. Your dad was rad if he let you pick the guitar.
Your friends were always wondering why your parents were arguing. That's just how they speak.
Everyone was your aunt or uncle, but you had no idea if they were actually related to you.
You know what durians smell like.
People always assume that you're related to another Lee/Chung/Nguyen/Hong/Kim that they know.
Nothing will stop your aunts from trying to set you up with royal bores with Ivy League degrees.
Every year, you got money in red envelopes on New Year's.
Finally: Your parents gave you everything they had and spent nothing on themselves. They know firsthand the dangers of the world, and their work isn't done until they see you settled and safe.
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