It's a constant battle: How do you get drunk economically without losing your dignity? This chart depicts the cost-effectiveness (how strong is your drink? How much are you paying for that strength?) versus the "classiness" of the drink (informally obtained by taking a poll of 30 BuzzFeed employees).
And here's what we found:
Expensive + Unclassy: O'Doul's
If you hate getting drunk AND looking respectable, good news! O'Doul's is your jam! With only 0.5% ABV, O'Doul's main demographic is pregnant women, designated drivers, and people who are being pranked.
Ideal for: Someone who really wants a challenge when getting drunk.
Cheap + Unclassy: Popov Vodka
If you're on a tight budget but still need to get tanked, Popov Vodka should be your go-to. But be wary: It rated as one of the least classy beverages on our list, so think twice before breaking this bad boy out at a formal event.
Ideal for: Bros. And stripping paint off the walls.
Expensive + Classy: Patrón Tequila
Do you want people to think you own a yacht? Are you desperately trying to get laid? Then Patrón tequila is your drink — but you'll pay for it! The cost-effectiveness for this class act is very low, so maybe just walk around holding the bottle instead of actually drinking it.
Ideal for: A VIP night out with Pitbull.
3. Cheap + Classy runner-up: Budweiser
This one surprised us, too. But if it's good enough for those Clydesdales, it's good enough for you.
Ideal for: Tailgate parties, or anyone who just wants to know wasssssssup.
2. Cheap + Classy: Maker's Mark
No surprise here, though: This is a drink that people really care about.
Ideal for: Red-blooded Americans.
1. Cheapest + Classiest: Jim Beam
Finally: A drink that will get the job done and maintain your reputation! According to our list, Jim Beam is the most cost-effective, classy way to get your drink on. But if you end up blacking out, crying, and puking everywhere, that's on you, friend.
Ideal for: Everyone! L'chaim!
Whatever you choose, just remember: Be responsible.
Director of Newsletters. Dad AF.
Contact Dan Oshinsky at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Senior Editor, Acid Bath Princess of the Darkness
Contact Erin Chack at email@example.com.
Got a confidential tip? Submit it here.