2. We’re sorry we doubted your team.
5. And can we say it? We’re jealous of this basketball machine you get to watch rev up every single night.
8. What’s your secret, San Antonio? Is it the nasty?
Just tell us! We’ll be more nasty if we have to.
9. Your Spurs were over the hill five years ago. They were dead and buried a year ago.
11. How is Tim Duncan still doing this night after night?
12. Do you know how many 7-footers have been this productive at his age? There’s Kareem, and there’s Tim, and… that’s it.
At age 37, Duncan averaged 15 points and 10 rebounds a game this year. Shaq couldn’t match that. Neither could Hakeem. (Abdul-Jabbar went for 22 and 8 a game at this age.)
13. How? HOW IS HE STILL PLAYING LIKE THIS?
14. What about Tony Parker? How is he still quicker than everyone else on the floor?
15. How does he even make passes like this?
16. Watching Tony Parker is a nightly exercise in pick-and-roll perfection. And if there was a word more perfect than “perfect,” we’d use that.
17. And when we’re out of words about those two, there’s still Manu.
18. How can we even find something left to say about Manu? About the way he can contort his body through traffic and come through clean on the other side?
19. About the way he manages to do things on the basketball court that tip into a realm probably closer to magic than basketball? How does he do it?
21. You shut down Tim, Tony, and Manu? Well, here’s Kawhi Leonard coming right down the lane.
22. Here’s Danny Green taking over from deep.
23. Here’s Patty Mills, getting into the paint whenever he wants.
25. Here’s Boris Diaw — Boris Diaw! — taking over a game.
26. Do you realize what you’ve been watching all these years, Spurs fans?
29. The rest of us are dealing with average coaches. You’ve got Gregg Popovich. Honestly, will we ever see a coach like Pop again?
Why haven’t we renamed the Coach of the Year trophy after him, anyway? What does he have to do — win another title? Win another five?