19 Simple Questions To Determine If You Really Hate Duke

Not sure how you feel about Duke basketball? Let this questionnaire help you discover your true feelings about Coach K and his Blue Devils.

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5. Does the sight of this man flopping make you mad?

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6. What do you think about players who write poetry like this?

A lightning bolt strikes
I feel a sudden energy
Thunder clouds approach
I can't run from destiny
A tornado tears me down
But I will stand again
My life is a hurricane
But I'll weather it to the end

9. How about the man responsible for this foul?

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16. Would you rather sacrifice your firstborn than watch this video?

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17. How about this one? Would watching this send you into a month of depression?

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18. Is this one of the worst moments of your life?

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19. How do you feel now?

Angry? Upset? Looking for a trash can to vomit in?

Then congratulations! You really hate Duke!

You're mad, and it's OK. Take a deep breath. Here, you might want to calm yourself down by watching this:

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And this:

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And this:

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Just breathe, and remember: There have been 74 NCAA men's basketball champions. 70 have been teams not named Duke.

Maybe this year, with your non-support, America can again experience the joy of watching anyone other than Duke win it all.