Being in my mid-20s, I did not think I was still going to be living with my parents. My skewed, still-developing frontal lobe teenager brain thought I'd have my own place with a seaside view and granite countertops by now.
But honestly, I'm not complaining, especially after finding out that half of adults aged 18 to 29 in 2022 were still living with their parents. But in the same breath, there certainly is a stigma surrounding the idea. According to Pew Research Center, 36% of Americans surveyed expressed that adults living with their parents was bad for society, while 16% thought it was positive.
In the TikTok, @caileneasely, a 23-year-old from Texas, talks about how unrealistic it is to expect adults to live independently when the cost of living, paired with inflation, is exponentially higher than it's been in the last two decades.
Cailen, who currently lives with her parents, told BuzzFeed, "Making the transition from your parents financially covering most to everything, to us trying to cover more of our finances is hard. There’s so much pressure to be successful so soon and so many people my age feel like they failed because they aren’t rich. There’s insurance, groceries, utilities, bills, gas, etc…it’s so overwhelming."
In the TikTok, Cailen says, "I can't stand the way people try to make it seem like, 'Oh, you're past your teenage years and still living at home?' Shit yes, these jobs don't pay good enough to even afford a one-bed, one-bath."
Cailen further touches on the relationship between education and the job market, stating, "A lot of these jobs want you to be educated, and then even when you are educated, they still pay you some bullshit amount."
Cailen isn't the only one who feels this way. People took to the comments to share some of their experiences with still living with their parents, as well as having to move back in with their parents.
"[I'm] 32 living at home. I tried living alone [from] 26-28 and it was the worst time of my life," another user commented.
Furthermore, others explained what they were able to accomplish while still living with their parents. One benefit: "I was able to finish my college education and get my BFA because I was still living with my parents."
In the video, Cailen also talks about how people were berating her for having her nails done, implying that if she didn't spend her money on her nails, she would be in a better financial situation.
When asked about the mindset that people in tough financial spots aren't entitled to "nice things," Cailen told BuzzFeed, "It enforces this idea that if you have no financial stability or security, then you can’t enjoy any little 'pick me ups' that can make you feel better. The reality is buying $10 nails or a $6 coffee is not hindering one’s ability to buy a house or getting a car."
Cailen expanded, "I just hate how people think not doing those things will help someone get out of poverty or somehow help them to be able to afford life."
Of course, there are people out there who don't have a supportive network or a healthy relationship with their parents. That said, it's not just a privilege being able to live with your parents, but it's also a privilege being welcomed in by your parents.
A TikTok user under Cailen's video addressed those who take issue with adults living with their parents, asking, "Our parents have no issue with us staying home so why are they so upset about it?"
Cailen also spoke on the shame some people put on those who still live with their parents: "You have a lot of adults who are past the age of 20 still at home. Because at the end of the day, age does not really matter. It's hard for everybody."
So to all the adults still living with their parents (including myself) — it's OK. If life is going to kick our butts, at least we can cry and recover in the comfort of our childhood bedrooms.
Thank you, Cailen, for speaking out against the stigma! Follow @caileneasely on TikTok for more content.