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BuzzFeed Staff

Comedy

Which Weird Cult Should You Join?

Founded by failed science fiction screenwriter Mitchell Cowan aka Buh in 1973, this cult believes that our souls can be saved from the impending destruction of earth by the removal of reproductive organs and only eating blue food products. Cowan also forces members to watch _Babylon 5_ episodes for four hours a day, believing that it is a holy scripture describing our rescue by extraterrestrial saviors.

The Order of Andromedan Resonance

Norman Henry Russell believes himself to be the earthly reincarnation of God, and lives with his 78 wives in a heavily fortified compound in Idaho. They fund their community by potato farming, distribution of Norman's music CDs, and inviting new members to contribute their entire life savings to Norman.

Temple of Norman

A secret underground cult that stretches back to the 1200s (or more likely 1989). The Dark Ones require new members to sacrifice a living creature (most choose spiders). They worship Lucifer (Lucifer Anderson) and believe Hell is a paradise. They want you to be scared of them.

The Darkest Shadowwalkers of Total Black Darkness Death

This new-age cult emerged from the spiritual awakening of Bill Scamus, a high school teacher whose students spiked his coffee with LSD in 1968. He soon changed his name to Father Ra-Veg and wrote the book "Life Doesn't Have to Be a Drag." His followers are encouraged to engage in daily orgies, and, as a result, the membership has swelled exponentially! Father Ra-Veg died of the clap in 1980, but the cult continues today on a farm near Hangup Springs, California.

Children of Infinite EarthLight

Formed in 1958, the Church of Sizzlerology began with a single church and by the mid-'80s had nearly a thousand locations all over North America. Since then, its numbers have reduced and it filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 1997. The religious rituals include The Song of Gluttony, Going for Seconds, and The Purging of the Shrimp.

The Church of Sizzlerology

Only the most elite of the elite are born into this secret society. So dream on, serf. The Brotherhood of the Golden Skull usually attend secret Ivy League universities that 100% of the 99% have never even heard of. Members tend to work in politics, finance, energy, or golf. Many of them have dozens of organ transplants and live over 200 years. Freemasons and the Illuminati aren't even on their radar; that's how powerful these guys are.

The Brotherhood of the Golden Skull

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Which Weird Cult Should You Join?

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