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How Sad Is Every Character On "Mad Men" Now?

An illustrated recap before the final seven episodes.

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Don Draper and Megan Draper

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Splitsville. She basically dumped him over the phone. Long-distance relationships are a drag. Her acting career isn't going too well, so we'll see what happens when she runs out of bread.

And Don has plenty of it now that the agency was acquired by McCann Erickson. He's a millionaire again, but he's burned bridges with all his family, friends, and most of his coworkers.

Sad rating:

Don: 😭 😭 😭 😭

Megan: 😭

Roger Sterling

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Roger narrowly managed to save the agency and Don's job. But he couldn't get his daughter to leave that hippie commune so now he's raising his grandson with his first wife Mona. Maybe his depraved orgy days are finally behind him.

Sad Rating: 😔 😔 😔

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Bert Cooper

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Bert's dead. His Ayn-Randian heart was so overwhelmed with pride at Americans walking on the moon that he just dropped dead. So long Bert. I pour some spirit-of-elderflower on the ground in your honor, homie.

Sad Rating: 💀 (but at least he died happy)

Peggy Olsen

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She's kicking ass at work; her Burger Chef pitch won a big new client for the agency and she's somehow Don's boss now. However, she's really sad to be unmarried at 30 (god forbid!). When the pudgy kid in her building moved away, she realized just how alone she was.

Sad Rating: 😢 😢 😢

Pete Campbell

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He's also alone again now that Trudy wants to finalize the divorce and Bonnie the real-estate agent has dumped him. But he also seemed weirdly nicer after spending all that time in the California sunshine. Maybe now he can finally get together with Peggy?

Sad Rating: 😒

Betty Francis

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Betty's marriage to Henry is getting rocky ever since she started embarrassing him at his political campaign dinners. Her kids don't like her either. Betty's sourness seems permanent at this point.

Sad Rating: 😡 😡 😡

Ginsberg

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Ginsberg, he.. well... He finally lost it when he became convinced that the new office computer was making him gay. So he cut off his nipple and gave it to Peggy. Let's hope he gets the help he needs at Bellevue and returns in good spirits.

Sad Rating: 😱

Joan Holloway

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She's a single mother who shares a small apartment with her own mother. Bob Benson tried to get her to marry him, but she rejected that offer. Maybe he should have cut off his nipple. But she's a millionaire now so maybe things are looking up?

Sad Rating: 😢

Sally Draper

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After the moon landing, Sally had a choice between making out with a nerd or his hunky brother and she went with the nerd. Maybe it was an act of rebellion against her superficial mother or maybe she just impressed with NASA's scientists that night. She was probably just bored.

Sad Rating: 😙

And also:

Jim Cutler is a jerk.

Lou Avery is a mega-jerk.

Ken Cosgrove is slowly turning into a one-eyed jerk.

Harry Crane is becoming less of a jerk.

Ted Chaough is a broken man.

Freddy Rumsen is awesome.

Stan Rizzo is awesome.

Lane Pryce is missed.

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