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13 Things I Learned At The Westminster Dog Show

Release the hounds.

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This week I attended the Westminster Dog Show, America's #1 purebreed dog competition. / Dan Meth / Via

I knew nothing about this event prior to attending, other than the fact that I really like petting dogs. Here's what I learned:

3. Dog Handlers have very peculiar fashion customs.

Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed

Two piece dress-suits, with rhinestones and knee-length skirts. Flats. Kind of like a Kansas City bank cashier in 1983 look. Sexy. I dig it.


4. Champion dogs have bizarre names, such as:

Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed

To be fair, no one refers to the dogs by these "kennel names". By their very nature, "kennel names" need to be that weird so they can be registered in a international directory without any repeats.

6. If you replaced all the dogs with humans, it would be the most horrifying event ever.

Like a Miss America pageant crossed with Triumph of the Will.

7. There's a Hungarian dog called a Komondor that looks like the three-way lovechild of an albino Rasta, a janitor's mop, and some shredded documents.


11. It's possible to have hundreds of dogs in one room and not hear a single bark.