13 Foods That Should Exist

And some that definitely shouldn’t.

1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Pints

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Sometimes you just want more than a “cup”.

2. Bloody Mary-infused celery

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The vodka and tomato juice are IN the celery.

3. Pearamid

You wouldn’t have to worry about it rolling off the table.

4. Forever-Warm Cookies


Engineered to always be warm and chewy as if they just came out of the oven. How do they always stay above room temperature? Don’t worry about it! Science.

5. Banan-O

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Somehow this would get squished less easily. Although it would be much harder to peel.

6. Bagnut (or Dogel)

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For when you can’t decide.

7. High-Fructose Corn Syrup Soda

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You’d be forced to face the truth of what you’re drinking.

8. Blue pepper

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Just to know what that would taste like.

9. Pop-Acorn

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The bounty of the oak tree popped, buttered, and salted to be enjoyed at the movies. If it sucks, all the squirrels are guaranteed to love it.

10. Pancake Orb

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When mankind realized the Earth was round and not flat, we should have reflected this knowledge in pancakes. The time is now.

11. Borscht Bear

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Because the food of Russia should be in a container that reflects its animal mascot.

12. Meat-filled Swiss Cheese

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Would save a lot of time making sandwiches.

13. Bath Saltines

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This is a terrible idea.

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