We live in a social media world full of vain, narcissist, beautiful, yet insecure people who fawn over the next shiny object they find, where sugar daddies are disposable, romance is almost dead, and tinder is ruining my world. Because our generation is spoiled with sex, sexy images, sexy things, and sexual predators, we have yet to stop and accept true beauty in romance itself. I am constantly reading posts about naive, yet innocent, and amazing women who are just finding out their significant others have been cheating all along. Some after a year and half and some after four years. Has there ever been an honesty approach in the dating game? Did we ever practice such wise exercises? We seem to have gotten lost in the lies and adventure of lust, that when we want romance, we cry wolf. There comes a moment in time where we have to take a step back, revalue ourselves, set boundaries, and demand the a beautiful relationship we all desire. Unless you are a complete fucking moron and you don't want to be loved. With that said, it takes two to tango. Woman need to have more self respect, chill the hell out, have more independence, have fun, and don't forget that the man isn't the only charming one in the relationship. Now, for the modern day man, I am merely suggesting that you exude a bit more patience when wanting the kitty to come out and play. Put more effort into chivalry, compliment her, for instance: "you look ravishing," or beautiful would be nice. Be charming but not over-bearing, listen, be honest, and tell her how you really feel.
In our parents' generation, the men were caregivers, patient, gentlemen, and were raised to be good husbands. Our generation, as amazing as it is, allows the equality between both men and women in the workforce, life, and relationships. This for the last 30 years has created more balance in the modern day household. You know, where both parents have jobs, kids, mortgages, and the mundane repetitive life together. For some women of my age, they want nothing more than to have this. Maybe that's what's fun in our 30's. We start to feel the pressure of society, or the boredom of nightlife weighing down, that all of those things sound appealing. But I'm single! I am 30, and I am not freaking out over wanting or needing those things. I want romance. Where did that go? I'm tired of games, the wait for him to text you all day game before you write first, the wait a week to go out again rule, the 'is he going to buy my dinner' worry, and definitely the 'oh fuck I found out he's a douche bag'. However, to get to this point in our lives we are forced to dig through the trash in the current dating pool. I have been taking out the trash for over a decade now. As I recently turned 30, my priorities in life are changing, for the better I might add, but after the dream job, the beautiful home, and the amazing outlook on life I still have yet to filter my trash to find treasure. Right when we feel like we get a glimpse of someone amazing they disappoint us. Many reasons could be to blame such as; not being able to allow themselves to progress, being scared, not being "ready," (which is a crock of shit), or perhaps they are still addicted to the attention from playing the field. The men of our generation are spoiled; therefore when we go on dates they have high expectations of getting laid too soon, thanks to these new dating/hook up apps. Same for women, we feel the need to create a sexual bond so fast in order to keep the men around. This is where we make our first mistake. Dating should be a courtship, where you actually get to know someone before you sleep with them, because perhaps they are good on paper, sexy, awesome, you might not need to sleep with them. We feel the need to rush things so quickly that the magic we seek so much disappears. Love is a slow process and when you allow it the time to grow it can be truly incredible.
We as a society need to be more open and honest with exactly what we need and want. If monogamy is what you want then say so, if an open relationship works best for you, discuss it, and if you just want to play around then you need to tell your current partner or partners. Trust me when I say honesty is the best answer because you will earn someone's respect in the end. Women, don't be so quick to judge them about their needs and wants. The courtship that you desire so much takes effort on both ends. I see so many people complain about men being douche bags or jerks, yes they pretty much have it in their DNA, but so do we. Woman can be douche bags too. What makes you a douche bag is the dishonest lies you hide behind and your actions that do not correlate to the words that come out of your mouth. Falling in love is by far the best feeling ever. Set aside the needs and wants of your expected future of yourself, or what your parents or society want from you. How can we achieve this? First of all, get off your stupid iPhone and go talk to a stranger. There isn't anything good on tinder? Ok, well take a walk through a busy shopping area and make eye contact with a someone you are attracted to, strike up conversations, listen to people, open up, go after what you want, and while you are doing it, please, for god sake, have fun. Stop going on new dates every night and spend more time with someone who has potential. Don't feel the need to rush into everything. You cannot take every relationship seriously, but you can do it without the douche-baggery. How? you ask, well by being honest for starters, open about your wants and needs, and keep it real. Keeping it real has a lot of great side affects; such as humor, a feel-good attitude, positive gut feelings, and relief. We single people are always complaining about the opposite sex, but we are in this shitty dating pool together, so, get comfortable, because we are about to bring romance up from the ashes, and make love less complicated. I leave you with my favorite quote in hopes you will be inspired to change our generation for the better. "Falling in love is easy, but staying in love is special"