You’ve never eaten anything greenThe word organic scares youYou pity people who eat salads…they just look so sadThe closest you get to fruit are Welch's gummiesYou don’t even know what kale isYou think lettuce tastes like grassYou are fully aware of what a Tour de Fast Food is and you’re reigning champYou’re not entirely sure what food group quinoa belongs to nor do you careYou just read the word quinoa as kwee-no-uhYour idea of physical activity is walking to the pantryYou won’t even consider eating a vegetable unless it’s completely covered in ranchFat Bastard is your spirit animalBrussel sprouts are your worst enemyYou can’t pronounce acaiYou don’t know what acai isYou don’t drink water because you can’t stand un-carbonated drinksWheat and grass are not meant to be gulpedIn your world, there’s only one type of raisin: chocolate coveredYou despise the term vegetable medley because it makes veggies sound funIt makes you angry that your parents think Fig Newton’s are an acceptable substitute for cookiesThe idea of not having fast food as part of your daily intake physically pains youYou don’t know the difference between tempeh and tofuWhat the hell is tempeh?Tears roll down your face when someone tells you they enjoy fat-free ice cream
How Much Do You Hate Being Healthy?
You don’t hate being healthy at all. In fact, you’re a health freak! You probably already ran a half marathon this morning and are reading this while making your daily kale smoothie. You definitely only took this quiz for validation on just how healthy you are. Congrats, everyone hates you.
You mildly hate being healthy. You probably eat healthy all of the time and have one cheat day a week. You enjoy eating healthy more than you don’t, but there are times when you pretend to like wheatgrass smoothies so your fellow hot yoga goers won’t shun you. You’re not quite on the dark side yet, but on your way there.
You moderately hate being healthy. You try to eat healthy when you can but aren’t on the health freak train fully. You’re a half-on half-off sock, if you will. You tell everyone that you had an “amazing” salad today but then closet eat a pint of Phish Food. Nice try, you’re not fooling anyone.
You severely hate being healthy. The closest you’ll ever get to eating greens is a fried chicken sandwich with lettuce on it. You laugh in your mom’s face when she tries to put vegetables on your plate. You scoff at the waiter who asks, “Fries or a salad?”. Go forth in your unhealthiness!
You despise being healthy. You’d go as far as to take off the piece of lettuce that comes on fried chicken sandwiches. Fast is your middle name and food is your game. Waiters don’t even ask you, “fries or salad?” because your waiter is a woman named Jean who’s the cashier at McDonald’s and she already knows your order. Your doctor is probably worried. You sweat grease, good for you.