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    18 Words That Mean Something Totally Different When You're A British Jew

    What are you doing on Friday night?

    1. North West London.

    Mark Hogan / Flickr: markhogan

    What it usually means: A residential area in the North Western part of London.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: An area where you will inevitably bump into three ex-boyfriends, your grandma and that lady from synagogue within the space of ten minutes.

    2. Best friend.

    Warner Bros. / misssanches.tumblr.com

    What it usually means: Your closest friend.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: Every person you’ve ever met in your life. You have at least 25 best friends.

    3. Charity.

    rebloggy.com

    What it usually means: An anonymous donation of goodwill.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: Singles events.

    4. Golders Green.

    Elliott Brown / Flickr: ell-r-brown

    What it usually means: A residential stop on the Northern Line.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: The place to have all your kosher needs met, for the mere price of £45 per head.

    5. Harry Styles.

    popcrush.com

    What it usually means: One fifth of One Direction.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: A pop star that you actually have a chance of bumping into, given his penchant for restaurants in Golders Green.

    6. The Jewish Chronicle.

    initialaccess.co.uk

    What it usually means: A newspaper you've never heard of.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: Your version of Hello!, except you know everyone in it.

    7. Tour.

    wifflegif.com

    What it usually means: A trip on which you visit more than one place.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: A month you spent in Israel when you were 16, where you made friends, kissed boys and experienced ample fashion disasters.

    8. Football.

    iheartsportsgifs.tumblr.com

    What it usually means: A popular sport.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: Jewish league football is the most important thing. Being involved in it makes you really important too.

    9. Tinder.

    giphy.com

    What it usually means: A dating app.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: A way to find fellow Jews that allows you to become acquainted with their entire life stories before starting conversations with them, thanks to the mutual friends tool.

    10. Israel.

    ronsho / Flickr: ronsho

    What it usually means: A country fraught with tension in the Middle East.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: A place that you feel an intense connection with and are intent on defending.

    11. Beck.

    Sirens Media / splatter.com

    What it usually means: The abbreviated form of Rebecca.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: A very made up, fake tanned young lady with overly straightened hair. You never want to be called Beck (but you probably have been).

    12. Couple.

    FOX / wifflegif.com

    What it usually means: Two people who are dating.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: Your version of a Yarmulke that boys place on their head surreptitiously as they enter synagogue.

    13. Summer holiday.

    RonAlmog / Flickr: ronalmog

    What it usually means: A chance to take time out of work to relax.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: Tel Aviv, baby! And you'll go with every single one of your close friends and family, who you see every weekend.

    14. Tan.

    NBC / fyeahfriendsgifs.tumblr.com

    What it usually means: A healthy, sun-kissed look you acquire by spending time in the sun.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: It's not a proper tan unless you look like you've rolled around in dog poo for several days.

    15. Zara.

    Leif Harboe / Flickr: leif

    What it usually means: A popular high street store.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: If you wear its clothes, you run the risk of bumping into your mother, sister, daughter and/or friend in the exact same outfit.

    16. Friday night.

    Popper Pictures / fuckyeahfridaynightdinner.tumblr.com

    What it usually means: Time for the pub.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: Depends who’s asking. You may not be able to make it due to a “family thing”. Or you may tell your parents an innocuous lie about a friend hosting a Friday night dinner.

    17. Sunday lunch.

    Annie Mole / Flickr: anniemole

    What it usually means: A weekly sit down with your family over a roast.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: Sabbath leftovers and/or smoked salmon and bagels, because “I’ve cooked all weekend OK, I’m taking a break."

    18. A good catch.

    FOX / papaja.soup.io

    What it usually means: A potential mate who may boast good looks, a good career or a good personality.

    What it means when you’re a British Jew: "What synagogue does he go to?" "How often?" "How tall is he?" "Which football team does he support?" "What do his parents do?" "Do I know his grandma?" "How kosher is kosher?" "Good job???"

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