17 Things People Have Masturbated To That'll Make You Say, "I Can't Believe They Were Turned On By That"

    Human sexuality is a fascinating thing.

    On a Reddit thread from a few years back, people decided to get real about the inner depths of their sexual psyche. User u/edwinstone asked redditors to share the weirdest things they've ever masturbated to, and they did not hold back. Here are 17 bizarre things people have beat their meat or flicked their bean to:

    1. "I was like 12 years old, and I was spending the night at my grandma's house. We were alone and Grandma fell asleep, so I decided to masturbate, with my clothes on, to a robot lady in a science magazine."

    2. "The instruction sheet inside a box of tampons. I was 16 — the illustrations were enough."


    3. "When I was young, my roommate brought home and banged a girl I'd had a crush on for years. Hearing her moan in the next room was more than I could take. It was my bitterest fap ever."


    4. "I know a kid who lent a girl in his class his graphing calculator, and he wanked to the calculations she left on the screen."


    5. "The bra section of a JCPenney magazine. I was probably 16 spending the summer at my grandparents' house. Not a lick of internet for miles."

    6. "I once masturbated to the scene in SpongeBob Squarepants where he and Sandy are having a karate fight and she grabs his tongue and pours hot sauce on it. I'm not proud."


    7. "Anthropomorphic female sharks."


    8. "A song. Not the artist, not the video, just the song itself in bed with Spotify."


    9. "A pencil with her name on it."

    10. "I knew a girl who would masturbate to the smell of old library books. She said it was 'before [she] really knew what sex was.'"


    11. "Mona Lisa's hands."


    12. "I'm a woman, and once, when I was masturbating, I looked down at my hand doing its work and suddenly had the jarring and intrusive thought of having a dick and what it would be like to jack off. I came really hard from the idea of it, too. It left me bewildered and confused as I lay there."


    13. "When I was 14, I masturbated to 'Lollipop' by Lil Wayne."

    14. "I once did it to my own pee hole because it looked similar enough to a vagina."


    15. "Not too long ago, I bought a new TV. The box it came in has two women on it who are supposed to look as if they are flying and having fun. It's an innocent, fun picture. But one of the girls has such a great smile that I have wanked to it about a dozen times."


    16. "The Wikipedia page for sexual intercourse."


    17. And finally, "An extra-curvy piece of driftwood."

    Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.