If you are a human, you have a birthday. If you have a birthday, chances are you've received a really weird gift at some point. Because it was given to you by a human. And humans can be weird.
Anywho, when Reddit user Daveyyyyyyyyyy asked, "What's the weirdest birthday present you've ever received?" it came to my attention that human beings are even worse at gift-giving than I thought.
Here are some of the strangest birthday gifts people have ever received:
1."An anatomically correct, life-size female mannequin from a women's clothing store that had closed. For a mannequin, she had a beautiful face and, of course, a shapely figure."
2."On my 13th birthday my friend presented me with a string... He said, 'Now you can play with your cat.' I didn't have a cat."
3."Some kid who was the son of my mom’s friend came to my party without an invite. He gave me his geography report on Greece from school for my 12th birthday. Thanks, Barrett."
4."A board game with half the pieces missing. Then the guy asked me for it back after a couple of days."
5.When I turned 18, about 20 of my friends threw a surprise party in my basement and as a gift, one of my friends gave me one of those mini boxes of Cocoa Krispies, and everyone at the party signed the box before I got there.
6."A pack of 10 not matching socks pairs. I still wear them."
7."When I was 10 I said I wanted a brick as a present to my Grandad. I told him I wanted it because I could throw it through the TV at our home and get a new one. Fast forward to my birthday and there is this very, VERY nicely packed present with the brick inside."
8."Significant other's parents got us like 15 sex-related items for her birthday. Cuffs, paddles, whips, leather straps, two vibrators, lube, etc."
9."My mom once got me misshapen underwear. It was sold at the dollar stores and was in a reject pile...one leg hole was very big and one was very tiny. She got me like 5 pairs of it."
10."Beard oil and comb from my step mom. I can’t grow a beard and it was a completely unironic present."
11."A duct-taped up cereal box filled with erasers."
12."When I turned twelve, my grandmother gave me one half of a pool cue (she'd unscrewed it and gave me one portion). My younger brother received the other half for his ninth birthday a month later. We did not own a pool table."
13."Wrapping paper wrapped in wrapping paper."
14."My grandmother gave me a bible and a massive jar of pickles one year to snack on while I became a good religious boy, I suppose."
15."An empty toilet paper roll."
16."A fake ear made of silicon or something, with a Van Gogh birthday card inside, in which he wrote, 'I’ll always be here to listen.' He’s my best friend, and that’s the weirdest but coolest gift I’ve gotten."
17."I got a toaster that toasts Bob Ross's face onto the bread...eight months late...from a great aunt I hadn't ever met or heard from before."
18."A dried cod and a large hammer."
19."I got a tape dispenser, a stapler, and a three hole punch for my sweet 16."
Some posts have been edited for grammar and clarity.