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21 Menu Items That Restaurant Workers Say They Would Never Order For Themselves

I'll never look at spicy tuna rolls the same way πŸ˜”.

My favorite subreddit ever is probably r/KitchenConfidential. It's essentially a bunch of chefs and waiters dishing on (pun intended) what it's really like to work in a restaurant.

Recently, I came across a thread in there that I couldn't peel my eyes from. User u/Cynically_Absurd asked restaurant workers, "What's an item on a menu that you'll never order and why?" Here are 21 that shocked me the most:

1. "Mine for years was ranch dressing because it was one of my first tasks at my first kitchen job. I took one look at the recipe (four gallons of mayo, two gallons of buttermilk, five packets of ranch dressing seasoning) and said, 'Well, that looks awful.'"

β€”Appropriate_Past_893

ranch dressing

2. "Unless the place is known for its homemade ones, soups. They're mostly either canned or frozen. That's just not where I want to spend my dining out dollars."

β€”Fremenade

bowl of soup

3. "Appetizers, just out of spite. I love onion rings, but paying $13 for an order because they’re served as a tower is ridiculous. Apps are now the same price as entrees at some places."

β€”BucsandCanes

plate of onion rings

4. "Salad that I didn't process and prepare myself. I simply don't trust anyone to wash the leafy greens as thoroughly as I want them to be washed."

β€”CrocsWearingMFer

plate of salad

5. "For me, it's calamari and prawns β€” especially if it's listed as an appetizer. My first job as a prep cook was at a place that served this. We'd get bags of prawns and those frozen blocks of calamari. I would spend hours cleaning and breading. I got pretty good at shelling and deveining prawns with one run of my pairing knife, but I still hated doing it. I also got good at fingering the calamari hoods to pull out that plastic-y spine, and then making sure it was the spine and not just a bit of frozen ice β€” because of course I'm having to process it while it's not completely thawed. It's the thing I've hated doing the most out of every task I've ever had to do in a kitchen (cooking or cleaning), and I refuse to order it when I see it because I remember how much it sucked."

β€”Cynically_Absurd

fried calamari

6. "Filet Mignon. Tasteless and overpriced (generally). Also, almost any Wagyu cut over six ounces β€” it blows your palate out."

β€”Starkey82

steak

7. And in a similar vein..."I've heard that if you order a well-done steak you'll get an older cut of meat whose less-than-fresh qualities can be hidden by a longer cook time."

β€”daveden123

steak being cooked

8. "Plant-based meat. Smells like cat food and looks like it, too."

β€”Bud_Cubby

patty being cooked in a pan

9. "I won't get sushi at an empty sushi place, or on a Sunday or Monday before dinner time."

β€”jabbadarth

sushi held in chopsticks

10. And while we're talking about sushi..."For spicy tuna sushi rolls, places often take old, less fresh tuna and add spices to cover up the bad flavor. Stick with regular tuna rolls."

tuna rolls

11. "Eggs Benedict. There's no telling where that hollandaise sauce has been."

β€”kaptainkushbags

plate of eggs benedict

12. "Anything off of a buffet or salad bar. It took COVID to make me realize exactly how gross the general population is when there are no consequences for being so gross. I’ve had multiple people genuinely not understand why it was a problem to take the spoon from a seafood dish and use it to get some mac and cheese. I’ve seen people lick the utensils. I’ve seen people reach in with their bare hands to get a biscuit. I’ve seen kids getting their own food and all the perils that come with that. Fuck."

β€”longdognoodle

buffet line

13. "Mussels. We get them fresh from the fishery, and still throw out 5% while cleaning them. Five minutes after rinsing, cleaning, draining, and portioning, there's still around 2 centimeters of nasty-looking brown mussel piss in the container. A day after, the container is 1/3 full of that same salty, nasty muddy-looking piss, so they have to be drained and rinsed again (and more dead ones thrown out). Even when properly cleaned, rinsed, and drained, while they're cooked they leak that same shit into the pan, so you gotta be extra careful seasoning the dish, because that nasty juice is salty as all fuck."

β€”Upper_Manufacturer47

plate of mussels

14. "DO NOT ever get a lemon in your drink at a restaurant. Servers clean off food, touch the food screen, handle many used pens, and do a lot of other things with their hands. There isn't always time to wash your hands between taking a drink order and grabbing those lemons. It's a big source of cross-contamination."

β€”TheCountryRedditaria

lemon in a glass of water

15. "Risotto. It's annoying to cook on a busy night and we use too much butter."

β€”gurmpsy

fork picking up some risotto on a plate

16. "Nachos. I think spending money for cheese melted on chips is ridiculous for what they charge."

β€”destroyer1134

plate of nachos

17. "Every macaroni and cheese I’ve eaten out, from Chick-Fil-A to 'fine dining' restaurants (with some exorbitant mac n' cheese on the menu), are never good. They're always under-seasoned, always boring."

β€”Novel-Cash-8001

pan full of mac n' cheese

18. "Quesadillas. They're my super-cheap go-to when I'm broke. I don't eat meat, so paying someone else to basically melt some cheese into a tortilla...I'm just not gonna do it."

β€”RaniPhoenix

cut triangles of a quesadilla

19. "Lobster at a place not known for their seafood. Where the fuck are they gonna get lobster?"

β€”TestZero

plate of lobster

20. "I worked at an upscale, local Italian restaurant. The complimentary bread? If another table doesn't finish theirs, the 'untouched' bread goes into whatever new breadbaskets are being served. That 'freshly grated parmesan' sitting in a bowl at your table? It was probably sifted through by an unruly six-year-old. It comes from (and any leftovers go back to) a communal giant tub of grated cheese in the back."

β€”tina_groan

basket of bread

21. And finally, "Grilled cheese, because I make it better at home."

β€”u/Cynically_Absurd

tomato soup and grilled cheese

Are you a restaurant worker who has a "never order" item you feel like people should know about? Tell us in the comments for a chance to be featured in a BuzzFeed Community post!

Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity