17 Lies About Dating, As Told By "Sex And The City"

    For everyone who is not a Samantha.

    Daniella Emanuel
    by Daniella Emanuel

    BuzzFeed Staff

    At the ripe age of 22, I binge-watched all of Sex and the City for the first time ever. I was single (still am), living in New York City (currently am not), and desperately seeking the secret to finding love (still fuckin' am). Original, I know.

    It turns out that Sex and the City was just about the worst place to turn for romantic guidance. I can promise you that anyone who has dated in New York City (and likely other big cities) can back me up that the godforsaken series (as addicting as it is) IS A STRING OF LIES.

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    NO, BIG, I ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT CALM DOWN.

    Here are some aspects of the show that (in my humble opinion) do not line up with reality:

    1. Meeting romantic partners on the street, in elevators, at the gym, and in random public places in general.

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    In SATC apparently all you needed to do to find a boyfriend was leave your apartment. Let's get real, everyone is way too awkward and self-absorbed to approach someone in real life.

    2. Men coming up with creative dates.

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    This must have followed the "IDK, what do you feel like doing? Haha" text.

    3. The overwhelming focus on how men are in bed versus their compassion, communication skills, and all of the other extremely important parts of a relationship.

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    Yes, girlfriends talk to each other about how the sex is at the beginning of a relationship. But honestly what they mostly talk about is whether the guy is an atrocious texter or not. I KNOW YOU READ MY TEXT BECAUSE I SAW YOU VIEW MY DAMN INSTAGRAM STORY.

    4. The lack of conversation around birth control.

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    Where were the condoms? The pills? The IUDs? Sex is great, but so is STI and pregnancy prevention!

    5. Dating right off the bat with no period of uncertainty.

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    Whenever one of the women meets a guy they just start immediately dating them. I would have loved to see that period of time where you're waiting to hear from them, or debating whether you should reach out first (aka pretty much just torturing yourself).

    6. The sheer amount of sex had.

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    Yes, it's possible to have a ton of sex while not being in a committed relationship, but it's also emotionally exhausting. And studies show that young people are just having way less of it in general these days.

    7. Going to dinner – where you can't escape! – on a first date.

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    This is way too much of a commitment for millennials and Gen Z'ers. What if they're boring and you have to sit through an appetizer, entrée, and dessert, all while pretending that you give two shits about their accounting job???

    8. Calling people on the phone.

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    I know texting didn't exist during the earlier seasons, but my god this does NOT HAPPEN ANYMORE. It's shitty and stupid, but if you have the gall to call your potential love interest and not text them you probably shouldn't be shocked if you receive a notice for a restraining order.

    9. Dating one person at a time exclusively.

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    Whenever one of the women started dating a guy, it seemed like they were dating him and him only. More and more these days there are people who are terrified of commitment or only do "open relationships," so when you start seeing someone, you can't really assume it's gonna end up exclusive.

    10. A lack of awkwardness when it comes to who's paying for the bill.

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    Literally the most awkward part of a first date for a woman is trying to figure out whether the guy likes you enough to spot the bill, if he likes you but is too broke to cover it, or if he thinks you suck and wants to split it. SATC shows none of this inner turmoil.

    11. Having the option to throw away a potential romantic partner over something as small as being scared of a mouse.

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    Charlotte was particularly bad in this department. While dating you quickly realize that absolutely no one is perfect. So if they're the whole package, except for the fact that they own a pair of cargo shorts, it's kind of in your best interest to suck it up.

    12. Never agonizing over the "right time" to sleep with a guy.

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    For anyone who is looking for a relationship and not a "friends with benefits" situation, this can be a very delicate dance.

    13. Running into exes on the street all the time.

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    Unless you live in a small town or something, this simply does not happen as often as it does in SATC. In real city life, if an ex never wants to speak to you again, they slither into the dark crevices of the universe, reappearing only in the form of an Instagram or Snapchat story view.

    14. Moving on with ease after a dating disappointment or breakup.

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    Except for Carrie's blowout with Big, every relationship on this show seemed to end as simply as it started. No tears, no second-guessing, no drama. How in the world??? Putting yourself out there is frickin' exhausting, and it's extremely disappointing when you finally think you found someone you're compatible with and it ends up being a bust.

    15. The idea that dating is fun.

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    Watching girls date a billion different guys on a TV show? A blast. Dating a billion different guys in real life? A nightmare. Carrie and co had way too much fun sifting through boatloads of shitty men!

    16. The fact that every woman found someone by the end of the show.

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    I'd like to think I'm a realist who dabbles in pessimism. And with that I'll say: Not everyone meets someone. Maybe it's because they don't want to. Maybe it's because they never find someone who lives up to their relationship standards. Either way, sometimes it just doesn't happen. It would have been way more believable if at least one of the girls didn't have the typical fairy-tale ending. Just saying.

    17. And the BIGgest lie of all? THAT A GUY LIKE BIG SETTLES DOWN.

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    Big is quite literally the OG fuckboy. If this show were based on reality, we all know what Carrie's romantic future with him would be: NONEXISTENT. Real-life Big will be sending 2 a.m. "U up?" texts to 10 different girls well through his eighties. Sorry, Carrie.

    That being said...I absolutely love Sex and the City and am two shitty dates away from re-bingeing the whole series so I can pretend to live in this beautiful fantasy again!